Hi everyone I have come to the decision I’d like to end my life and after coming across this method it’s one I have found most peace with as it’s less mortifying for others than finding me hanging or shot to the head or anything else plus it seems very effective.
My partner of 7 years asked me to leave our home, she no longer wanted me. Being away from the woman I love and not being in my own home with my family has driven me mad. She doesn’t want me back, I can’t cope and we have a lovely daughter together but it kills me not getting to tuck her into bed or just be around her everyday.
I miss everything we had together and just don’t wanna live with the hurt anymore. I’ve had a lot to deal with personally dealing with anxiety and depression that I didn’t tell anyone ablutnuntil a year or so ago cos I worried what people would think.
So I’m Here today to get advice on how best to make this exit bag in the uk and where to obtain things needed.
I was thinking Helium as that’s readily available but do uk sellers sell pure Helium? How much am I going to need in order to guarantee death? I don’t want it to run out before I go. Does the Helium need to be released at a set speed? Or do I just attach a hose and turn it on? Will a large oven cleaning bag be suitable to use with some form of elastic or draw cord on bottom be suitable? Or add duct tape to keep it sealed?
Just basically wanting to make sure I’m getting the correct equipment as I don’t wanna fail.
Thank you for reading
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26 comments
Your daughter needs you.
You’re in a horrible place right now, but believe it or not, time is a great healer. There are probably good reasons your relationship ended, problems that had to be dealt with. Better to face them than letting them fester.
It sounds like you are back to your old habit of keeping your problems to yourself (except online). Now is the time to get help. As in right now. Call someone who can help. Even if it is simply a helpline. You need someone there with you, in person. This is the responsible thing to do.
You are in over your head, but you’re a valuable human being experiencing a life crisis. It happens to many of us. Get help so you can have a better life and be there for your daughter.
Can’t the law help you see your daughter. She has no right keeping her from you. It’s worth a try? Muspelhem is right, how would your daughter feel if her dad killed himself?
I have more than 1 thing that I wish to point out
But the main question in my mind right now is…
U say u love your daughter…
did u think about / consider, how ur daughter would feel if you go ahead with this & she loses you forever?
Isn’t it painful enough that she has “temprarly” lost you in “one part” of her life?
Do you not mind if she goes through the 100 times stronger pain of “permenantly” losing you in “all parts” of her life?
My daughter is young and it’s hard to make people see just how hard this has been for me. This woman I have loved more than any other no longer wants to continue our lives together, I can’t live with seeing her move on, meet another man, have him move into our home and share a bed with her.
I just do not want anyone else, my personal issues where what led to us not being as happy as we had been cos I had bottled things up, and as a result I have lost everything in my life what is good.
Sir, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now. But I do know that suicide is not the solution. You may not believe this but it will get better. So stay strong, do it for your daughter.
I appreciate people’s comments and believe me it’s been so hard to get to this point. But I just can’t cope with losing my home, losing my fiancée, and on top of that not being able to see my daughter on a daily basis. Everything I’ve worked for in life has fallen apart. All those things I had was all I’ve ever dreamed of
some of us know the answer to your questions but you can’t discuss methods in detail here.
could you please give the guy a fighting chance?!
come on fally 🙁
I didn’t give him the info. I just thought it must be frustrating for him that no one actually answers his questions.
okay, i c ur point (Y) [all good]
Can you provide some answers?
ukmale, I could but I strongly suggest you to trust NOBODY when researching for something like a suicide method. how do you know if I’m not a sadistic asshole who wants you to end up with brain damage?
you can find your answers on the Internet from a couple of valid sources where these methods have been described in detail.
before you do anything however, think about the girl you have brought to this crappy world. she didn’t ask to be here.
Sorry fally new here….didn’t realise. Is there a private msg option on here where it’s allowed?
Sir, could you please, kindly, focus on what everyone here is trying to tell you & ignore any thoughts regarding your post’s questions? please 🙁
I can only imagine
how painful it would be for you as a father & as a husband
to feel that you so suddenly lost everything like that…
Now I tell you what I subtly stressed on before
“temporarily”
This situation is NOT set in stone
it’s temporary
Your partner /Fiance is a human being not a machine,
there’s ALWAYS [from today to the last day of her life [May she have a long one]]
a possibility for her to change her mind
*** specially, if YOU give her a Reason to
how to do that
right now I can’t give you a concrete answer,
because right now I know very little about you
& what set off this whole situation
but I’m willing to listen to anything & everything you’v got to say
& I’m willing to offer you concrete, practical suggestions once I understand the situation better
but for now I tell you
with all due respect
“You are convincing yourself of the loss”
what you think & see as “lost”
is still right there in front of you
the only difference
is that a certain obstacle / wall has been built between you & those things you hold so dear
I say, instead of quitting all together
[& so deeply hurting ur daughter [/ allowing her to get unimaginably hurt] in the process]
you can, at least, “try”
to fight back [the reasons that caused this situation]
& tear down that wall
to reclaim those things
[which, again I stress, are not “lost”… they are right behind that wall]
You are worried about your partner / fiance’ moving on & finding someone else…
I know that this will be harsh to say
but I have a deep feeling that you need to understand it
there’s more chance that what you worry about
would happen
if you quit & leave
than if you stay & strike back at this situation
[& I stress that in fighting / striking back, your finace’ is not the enemy [as far as I can understand]…. the enemy is the “reasons” / “conditions” [including the anxiety and depression]]
Finally
When I talked about your daughter, I did not mean that your own feelings & pain is not important…
but it’s my own understanding of fatherhood / parenthood
that you have an “obligation”
to fight the whole world
even “your own pain” no matter how big or indescribable it is
for your daughter’s sake
you have an “obligation” to put her well-being / comfort
over your own
you say that she’s young…
that’s even more reason for you to fight this battle
& be determined to win
In her little eyes, You are her “Protector”…
& no matter how far away you are from her…
as long as she knows “you’re there”
she feels safe…
Knowing that you are gone will scare her for the rest of her life…
& I’m certain
that if you can look beyond your own pain
you would never accept
for your daughter
to spend an infinite number of days
running away from ghosts & monsters
she has no power to fight
because “Her Protector” is no longer there…
My fiancée told me after asking me to leave that she had been talking to another man, hadn’t been out with him/kissed him etc. I was hurt but kinda understood cos as she had said we had been living separate lives almost. She felt hurt I never told her about my issues until I broke down over them. She said she told me to at least give us a chance at working again. She says she loves me and we kinda been trying to date but she’s still
Unsure on what she wants. There had been a huge lack of sexual activity between us cos I couldn’t focus on anything but health then she thought I wasn’t interested so she stopped trying too. So we’ve been dating but kinda hitting a road block where she says she just doesn’t want that now and she’s not interested in that. I feel this will only lead to problems if we can’t connect as a couple that way. She keeps saying she needs space and it hurts that she doesn’t want me around her. 2 months
Now I’ve been moved out and don’t think it’ll ever get better
I keep trying to tell her time is precious and I don’t wanna waste anymore of it being apart as we don’t know how long we get on this earth. But it seems to fall on deaf ears unfortunately
Please don’t do it. Your daughter’s world will never be the same. It will be a hard burden on her forever to lose you this way.
And likely other people, too.
The pain you’re feeling can lessen. Maybe even go away.
Give yourself & everybody who knows you a chance. Call a prevention line if you have to. Get someone to help. You don’t have to try to cope with everything alone.
Thank you hazel for saying this…
Sir, again I offer you my out-most help
I’m willing to listen to you,
discuss this problem in full
& look with you for practical solutions
step by step
Please take my offer 🙁
if u’r not comfortable talking here
my e-mail is
farahlajeennouraldeen.1
@gmail
Doesn’t sound good 🙁
First off you must do a lot of research a lot before trying anything, most people on here know as much about what your talking about as you do.
all those things your asking need real and accurate answer’s otherwise you could wind up in a lot worse condition than you think your in now.
you also should play out this situation to the bitter end, you maybe throwing in the towel to early, things change they always do, anything is possible, you could find another woman and visit you kids for example.
life isn’t easy not for anyone, roll with it and do your best.
Thank so but I don’t want anybody else, last thing I want is to split and have her move on to someone else and have them share what was our home. Everything I’ve built up with her over these years and to lose that well I just don’t wanna carry on
You say you want to get back with your partner, but were you even happy with her?
It does not sound like it to me.
Your partner is trying to do what is best for her and your daughter.
Right now, she can see that you have serious problems, and like it or not, that is not super attractive to women. It is also likely to impair your parenting.
If you were to kill yourself, that would prove her right. It would prove that you were weak, uncommitted, a quitter. It would hurt your daughter no end.
Whereas if you get help and realise that you are not the first to have your family fall apart, and that it is not what happens to us but how we react to it that defines us, in time you might be ready to be there as a father for your daughter.
This is about YOU. You hit a bump in the road, and you have to deal with it. By getting help.
Sir, in my honest opinion
what you just described, does not even come close to “loss”
You’r giving up on this too soon…
She LOVES You
& She WANTS to give you a Chance…
that is more than amazing & relieving to know
& I think, given the circumstances
She would not have been able to say something like that had she not truly felt it…
The way you wrote your post-
& unfortunately, that’s probably how you see the situation in your head-
you made it- to me at least- seem like your fiance literally “hates” you
& can’t even stand seeing you
This is NOT the case AT ALL…
Finally,
okay
she talked to another man…
this does not mean that she is in love with him
& that you are out of the picture…
& that this man is going to be your replacement…
& that he’s gonna move in & take everything away from you
You are the one making all these assumptions & convincing yourself of them… 🙁
None of these things happened
& I honestly see absolutely no reason to “believe” that they will ever happen…
I’m willing to bet that it was simply the need to vent / talk to someone who would understand her situation & show compassion that made her talk to him… nothing more
Was it right / fair to you? No
But is it something final / unchangeable? Also No
It was an unintentional mistake that happened during a very unsettled period of time in her life & resulted from a kind of pressure & stress she was never exposed to before
[maybe in her whole life]
I’m certain that you can throw this mistake out of the window & completely forget about it…
if not out of kindness, compassion & understanding,
then at least out of wisdom…
for the sake of saving / fixing the situation…
Look,
I think your Fiance “needs” you to give her four things…
& if you give her those four things,
your relationship has- in my opinion-
more than “a chance” to get back to how it was
[maybe even better]
[1]
a firm & serious “commitment” from you to “constantly & continuously” be HONEST with her
I think this here is the main source of the problem…
If you can assure & reassure her that you’ve learned & now “understand” that
despite your “good intentions” [you wanted to protect her feelings & not make her feel sad / frustrated by your condition / problems]
despite those intentions
bottling up your problems & emotions
& not being honest / straightforward with her
“was a big mistake”
& that this mistake will not happen again…
If you can tell her that in a way she can believe… you have solved half of the problem already…
[Notes:
1]
When you do tell her this,
do not make it appear like it’s a big deal or “an event”
& do not expect or wait for a reaction or any encouragement or decisions from her…
You simply [& without pushing] call / meet somewhere casual…
could be even the street,
say “hi”,
say the above statements “I’m calling / meeting to tell u that… etc.”,
salute her
& leave / close the phonecall…
That’s it
Do not expect ANYTHING
because she will Still be hurt…
the usefulness of this step is that
if you really mean what you said to her
it will “register” in her mind
& as you provide points [2], [3] & [4]…
[1] will come back in her mind
& the formula will be complete
—
[2]
Give her a reason to believe that you will be doing effort to change your current conditions [depression & anxiety]
[Suggestions:
Counseling
Therapy
Taking up a hobby
Learning a new skill / language
Changing your daily routine to be more productive / good / useful
Volunteering
[The general idea is to fill up your day & time with useful things… this will help you “cope” also]
]
When doing this, again, try not to make a big deal out of it…
believe me she will notice the changes on her own, you don’t need to tell her
—
[3]
Space
I think
your Fiance needs space & distance to be able to review the situation & think more clearly about it… in doing so, she has a better chance understanding your position & why you were bottling up
This is in YOUR favor, not against you
Also, if you follow step [1] & [2]…
Giving her space will help her “take in” these steps [get affected by them]
So again, even more reason to give her space & to not push…
—
[4]
Time
It’s true what you say…
Time IS precious
but time is also NEEDED to heal wounds & to fade out pain & hurt
If you keep pushing, this healing will not take place as well as it needs to & you have more risk that she won’t be able to come back to you “in full” [that includes the intimacy issue you mentioned]
So, please, do give her time 🙂
—
I really hope you’r still here
I hope you reconsider & completely cancel this idea from your head,
no matter what happens
if not for yourself, then for your daughter
& i hope any of what I said is helpful to you
tc
I hope u’r still here
or that u at least read whati wrote u above
🙁
Farah Can I email you?
heyyy
it’s been a long long time since I last posted here
& I have a lot to say to several people whom I sincerely hope are still here
I was planning to come back in about a week
but I’ve just seen your post now
& that’s why I’m posting
Yes yes yes, you most definitely can & are most welcome too 🙂
I only hope I’m not replying too late :/
<3 <3 <3