I don’t understand why life is so terrible? why do bad things happen to good people? i try my best, do everything i can to make everyone else happy, yet i always get thrown away and pushed down. i am always torn apart and broken and fucked up. I am always the one up at night crying while everyone else sleeps.
I was starting to feel better, oh man i really was. My suicidal thoughts were starting to go away for a while and every now and then, i found myself happy, and able to sleep….
but jokes on me, of course it didn’t last… it never does.
My dog, who i have had since i was 1 year old, is being put down tomorrow.
when i was in the sixth grade i had another pet die, well lets just say that when it died, i developed incredibly bad OCD. which that then created multiple anxiety disorders and i was then diagnosed with depression. i promised myself then that “when my dog dies, i will kill myself so i don’t suffer, again.” well maybe i just might.
this dog is my best friend… my only friend… she can’t walk anymore because she has had 10 strokes, but she never left my side NO MATTER WHAT. yes she couldn’t walk but she genuinely wanted to stay with me. i remember once i came home and she was having a stroke and i was the first to find her. my parents and brother wouldn’t answer their phones and i was alone. but the second she felt me hold her, she started to breathe again.
these last few weeks she didn’t seem to remember me much… but i sure as hell will always remember her.
she was the only one who would stay, when everyone else walked away.
if anyone has experience with this kind of situation, i would like advice on dealing because right now i feel lost and numb and alone… help.
7 comments
Dealing with the death of a pet is always hard. It really is like losing a member of your family.
There is no easy way to ‘get over it’ you have to grieve and let time do the healing.
I know many people (myself included) say “that’s it, i’m never having another dog again” but maybe later on in time when you feel ready you can get another dog and give it the same love.
Hey there Anne,
first of all,
if u had been sitting waiting 4 someone to write something
i’m sorry it took me that long to reply
I was reading all ur previous posts first
my apologies
second of all… a big big big hug to you
🙂
third of all,
i’m here to help
today
& any other day
awe thank you so much:)
Most welcome 🙂
please allow me to direct you to read two things…
the first was written by me
in response to someone here who was having a very similar situation to urs
I’ll post it in another comment below
it’s a bit long, but I hope u find it helpful… at least a little bit
—
the second was written by a much more talented author;
You
I want you to please read your own post titled:
just a reminder that you will be okay
it doesn’t perfectly fit the exact situation
but it perfectly fits life in general
& that’s why it’s so beautiful
like u are
—
Now i’ll post my comment below
& then I’ll have to catch some sleep
but I’ll be right back with u as soon as I can
but before i go
2 things
[1]
I have a lot to say about ur previous posts
& I want to help you through whatever it is that is troubling you
I’m hoping that you’d give me that honor
& that we could talk
[2]
I know it’s gonna be a very tough day
& a tough week
& a tough month
maybe even a tough year
no matter what u do or don’t do
c or don’t c
but i think it would be best
for ur own well being
to not be there
wen it’s time for ur dog to go
unless u feel it’s absolutely a must that u witness that moment
or that u be with ur dog when that time comes
if u feel u are ready… okay
but if not, don’t force urself
it will hurt
& will be sad & painful
eitherways
but i don’t want u to also be traumatized by seeing something u were not prepared to c
tc & we can talk about this again tomorrow, if there was enough time
—
Fourth, your dogs…
dearest, I’m so sorry for your loss
I truly am
& I know you must miss them very much
but there’s a very important & final concept that I need you to understand about life
It’s not meant to last forever
In this life, all creatures, even things have a limited duration
We have to accept that
& we have to accept that
it’s not within our hands to control that duration
but we can do our best to be graceful & kind & supportive
towards these people & these creatures & these things
through out their duration
so that, to the best of our ability,
when the time comes for them,
they have gotten our outmost help & support
& we have no regrets towards them
?
I have so many things to say here but they are majorly based on my religious beliefs & convictions
If you wish, I’d be most glad to talk with you about it
—
but I have only one thing I want you to reflect on
Can you imagine your dogs still being there with you
not in body
but in spirit… as invisible souls
If you can imagine this
how would they act towards you?
I bet 100% that because they love you so much,
all their gestures would be supportive & encouraging to you
If they could talk, they’d ask you to stop being sad & come play outside right now
I need you to imagine that this is actually true
that they are actually still there in spirit, they’re just silent, odorless & invisible
I need you to imagine that they’r there everyday you wake up
happy & excited for your new day
U have breakfast, they’re there with you
U go running, they come running with u
U go to school they come with u
Can you do it? ?
—
final notes:
[1]
is there a possibility to, maybe, convince ur parents to wait this out
to let ur dog live till God decides it can no longer live?
I know u view it as mercy?
& i respect ur intentions so greatly
but my belief is that God’s mercy far surpasses ours
& if someone / something is alive
even if suffering
it’s of God’s mercy to keep it alive
till He decides it’s time
just a thought to consider
[2]
regardless of what happens tomorrow or any other day
when the time comes
give ur dog one big big hug
tell her that u love her so very very much
&that she’ll always be with u
in ur heart & ur mind
that’s all she needs to know & hear
&I believe
that’s all u need to say & do
u can do it right now if u can
just incase something comes up
& u don’t get to do it again tomorrow
My thoughts are with u
& don’t worry
u’ll be okay 🙂