((16 yr girl)).
Over the past week or so I have felt terrible. I’ve been zoned out at school and missed half the stuff we were taught, I OD on painkillers and got really sick and I’ve pulled away from my friends slightly. I think this is the worst I have felt in a long time and I want to kill myself so bad, but I haven’t. To make it worse it’s Mother’s Day in my country, and I have nothing to give my Mum, I could have given her art but last time I did it sat on the bench collecting dust and I told her I’d keep it in a folder till you get a frame like she said she would, but it’s still in the folder and why should I give her something like that if it’s worthless and useless to her. I want to recommend a movie to her, she wouldn’t watch it though, and she wouldn’t think much of it, I know that sound stupid but I want to share the movie with her, it’s a pretty story. She doesn’t have any hobbies or anything and I literally can’t get her anything because I don’t have any money to by anything that’s not worthless or a pile of junk. Now I feel guilty, disgusting, I hate myself so much and I just want to die.
2 comments
Try not to be so hard on yourself. If you really feel you must do something, toast a few pieces of bread or fry some eggs for breakfast for her. I feel like it hurt you that she didn’t appreciate your last gift, and understand why you may not feel like trying again. That’s all I’ve got, not in a great place myself right now, but just wanted to show you someone cares.
Someone does care. You don’t have to suffer like this. Help is available and it exists. Your mum may have been going through something which is why it seemed like she didn’t appreciate your gift. Maybe say hi tell her you love her and maybe that is enough.