its been a while since ive been here, and reading all my stuff i put on here from years ago i still admire how i feel the same. maybe a little less suicidal but still there. i am still trying to go through things myself, still dealing with my best friends death and everything i was going through. the only difference now is that im actually going to try and get help. im going to try the medication and therapy. i think ill be okay with that since it will be better than drugs and alcohol like ive been turning to. ive messed up so many times on alcohol and i dont know what to do about it. i cant stop, but i cant not have it. i need it. i need it to be okay. a part of me just wants to talk to someone but another part of me just doesnt. i dont need to talk i just need to stay to myself and deal with it. i just need to get better almost but i dont know how to without drugs and cutting. i am just letting my life go and at this point i still havent found room to really care about it. bad thing? maybe but it is whatever right now. ive dealt with it this long maybe i can continue like this maybe i will get better maybe things will get worse and i will straighten myself up. maybe.
2 comments
You will. If you need to talk to anyone, I’m listening .
It’s not easy lettIf go of your only outlet that helps you survive. But sometimes your outlet is toxic. And when you finally do let go you’ll be thankful. It’s good to get help. Your one step closer to everything you want. Keep going. I’m going . I’m listening.
im sorry to say but things dont get any better