When did your problems in life begin? Was there a broken home? For me, problems started when I was 7. Parents divorced. EVIL girlfriend of my dad. Terrible physical living conditions. Verbal abuse from her. At the same time, bullying at school. Dad slowly but surely became an alcoholic. In 10th grade, one of my life’s joys was taken from me. I was rendered unable to play the rest of the season (nor ever again) because of a knee injury. I only experienced one FULL season as a high school soccer teammate. That was hard. Partly because of depression (partly caused by the soccer situation), and partly because I got a sort of PTSD with the amount of times I had already dislocated my knee caps (34 on the left, 49 on the right before the 50th on the right side), I pretty much became a couch potato. Since then, my weight has steadily been rising. As you probably can guess, that does WONDERS for my self confidence. On top of all of that, I worked at places that was suited for someone that possesses an opposite personality than me. I am the most reserved and quiet and thoughtful; meaning I like to take time with tasks that are assigned to me, and am not good friends at all with a fast paced and stressful environment. Its been a little over 2 years since I’ve had a job, and that’s because my anxiety regarding jobs makes even thinking about a job will give me anxiety. Of course, my drunk of a dad doesn’t approve. He scares me to DEATH, even though he lives on the other side of the state. I’m seeing him this Thursday through Sunday. So FUCKING nervous.
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Good lord, the number of dislocations… I know those job anxieties pretty well, though in my mind it’s more of a “you can’t do this, you’re not good enough to do this” sort of thing that keeps me at the bottom.
I’d say the loss of my fiancée, my job, and my home a few years ago was the turning point for me. Until that point I was depressed sometimes, had self-image issues, and pretty bad social anxiety, but things were manageable.
The turning point for me was probably around 15, when I realized I had lost all chance at the life I was planning. Medical problems started at 13, was able to make it through middle school with the help of an amazing counselor getting my teachers to work with me, but no such cooperation in high school. Went from top 10% to failing everything and having to drop out just because I was absent too much. Now I’m about to be 21, still living with my mom and no hope for the future
About to be 21… so am I, in October. Still living with your mom… so am I. No hope for the future… check.
At conception, when two DNA strands with myriad imperfections introduced themselves to each other. The rest is just a formality.