(Yay, I fixed the internet on my computer. It seems to be connecting well, and is moving faster. I did everything I could such as restoring it to its default, restarting the computer, and even got my dad to check it out. He wasn’t able to fix it. All I had to do was update the security, clear all browsing history, and most of all disable the proxy server. Now, I don’t have wait for long periods for a page to show up, or have to keep reloading the page because it didn’t show up. Hope it stays this way.)
By society’s standards, I am a loser. I have no boyfriend, never been in true relationship. I have no friends. I still live with my parents. I have no job. I’m in huge load of debt because I went to college, and it never did anything for me. Heck, I might as well as been a high school drop out. I am applying for disability and plan to file for bankruptcy. If I get disability, my college loans will be discharged.
Most people will tell me that I am not a loser, but this is far from the truth. I bet if I was to ask most people to describe what a loser would be like. I would pretty much meet a good portion of the checklist. I only things that are missing to complete the list are being a druggie, being a slut, being a single mom as a result of being a slut, and going to jail. Please list other traits as well.
Though I have nothing, apparently I am privileged. Things could have been worse. I could be homeless, and be forced to live my life as a prostitute either by poverty, or being kidnapped off the streets, and then probably be murdered once my usefulness was up. I could have been born in a third world country where diseases thrive, war, genocide, and slavery still continues, and because I am a woman I would have been forced to marry some 50 year old man with multiple wives when I was still a minor of nine or twelve years old.
Instead, I don’t get to work and get to stay at home doing nothing. Sure, I still help around the house, but don’t have to deal with stress that jobs give. I have television, video game systems, internet, and food and water. I have my cats and dogs to keep me company. If I want something I can ask my mom to get it for me. She can not give me everything under the sun, we are not a wealthy by American standards, but I think she says yes most of the time. I believe that I can commit murder, and my parents would still keep me. My mom even promised to give me a small allowance for doing chores around the house. I told my dad that he could take me off his car insurance because I have no money to pay it, but instead he just removed other policies to make the insurance cheaper, so I can still drive. I just had to give him 300 dollars that I made from a previous job.
A store manager where I use to work at admitted that she would rather have my life and knew at least a thousand people who would be happy to be in my position. She was forced to move out when she was eighteen right after high school, and she had a child to take care of. She is forced to work full-time to pay for rent, and complained that she doesn’t get to spend enough time with her family.
If I was forced to move out at eight-teen, since I am not capable of holding a job, I would be homeless. I use to hate my mom because she was babying me, but I realize that I am birdie with a broken wing, unable to fly from the nest. I could have been pushed out of the nest for the predators to eat me, instead I get to be safe in the nest.
2 comments
I love your posts. Please keep writing.
I think that you can admit those things is impressive.