I don’t really know what’s going on anymore. I’m self destructing my own life and I can’t stop it. I have no one that understands and can help me out of this. It’s something i have to do… but how?
I’ve called in sick from work for atleast a week now. My manager tried to contact me today but I didn’t pick up the phone. I’m sure it was to try to let me go, which I really wouldn’t care about because I absolutely hate that job. But my boyfriend, is continually bashing me for not going and it’s not at all like him to do that. I wish he understood that I hate it to the point of not wanting to go. I want to quit. But if I was to quit then my family would start bashing me for that. I’m so utterly depressed from this, to the point where I don’t leave my bed for days and I sleep for 15 hours a day. I haven’t eaten in a week.
Do you ever just feel like life isn’t for you? I feel like everything is working against me to the point of me not wanting to try anymore. I know I can’t do anything, it would break my boyfriends heart and I love him to death but I just wish I could figure this out. My life is like a black storm that follows me… I can’t get out of this damn mud.
This really sucks.
3 comments
This describes what I feel perfectly. It’s like your mind and body start shutting down, not because of anything specific but just “life”. Maybe it’ll feel better if you get fired. That’s what I’m waiting for also. Something that will either push me to get up and change my life, or get up and end my life. About your bf and family, it sounds like they just don’t get it. They will probably become more frustrated and angry as time goes. In my case my gf tried to help at first, then she started getting angry, now she just stays away. If you figure out how to break out of this please let me know.
Honestly, I got laid off from my job the next day. Wondering if it was a blessing or a curse because now my family are continually forcing me to apply to jobs without even listening to the things I want to do without needing a job. I wish money wasn’t everything.
Regarding my boyfriend, he finally got it after I had to break it down and break myself down to him. I still feel just as lost though.
Hm well I guess that’s some good and some bad. Overall it sounds mostly good …or at least less trapped. But I know the lost feeling, it’s almost like nothing matters, whether life sucks or life is smooth, if you’re lost then nothing matters *raises hand*
Sounds like you have way too much career advice from your family but if you are taking suggestions, how about working in a restaurant, hostess, waiting tables, line cook, whatever. The reason I suggest it is because it’s the kind of job you can quit without any notice, and at the same time you can make decent money and even meet interesting people. That’s usually what I do when my life has no clear direction, I might actually take my own advice haha