(I did not write this. I fond it on reddit.) (I think that I am average-looking with social retardation.)
1. You can’t find a girlfriend or boyfriend. This is the whole point of this sub so there’s not a lot to be said here but basically yes, if you’re single for an extended period of time and not by choice with no hookups or sex in between even at a bar on a Friday night when everybody’s drunk, then chances are you fall short in the looks department. There’s a guy on here who’s approached 300 girls in the past couple of years and received zero dates and anyone who says he isn’t trying hard enough is obviously kidding themselves.
(I can get the hookups, which I do not take up on the offer, but not the relationship, so maybe not the looks department.)
2. People ignore you. By this I referring mainly to social situations. You will not get any second glances on the subway or at the restaurant. Additionally, if you go to a store the employees may assist everyone else…except you. A good example of this is Jack Ma. Before becoming rich he applied for a job at a new McDonald’s that was opening in his city. Obviously this was a minimum wage job that required no education, experience or expertise. Out of 24 people interviewed he was the only one rejected. Which brings me to my next point.
(No, I walked into a restaurant the other day and notice at least two much older men staring at me, both with smiles on their faces, and employees tend to want to help me when there is obviously no reason for them to,)
3.Friendships are tough.You likely have few friends and they are often not as nice to you as they are to each other. You are always viewed as somewhat of an outsider, or merely a tack-on rather than a fundamental member of the group. They take longer to respond to your texts, don’t invite you to certain events which they even try to keep secret from you and in general there is from the very beginning an unspoken agreement among them that you are not fully part of the group and that they are being super nice and doing you a huge favor simply by including you. Which brings me to…
(Yes, I’m definitely a tack-on.)
4. People condescend to you. The backlash doesn’t stop with your friends. Your boss and co-workers will likely treat you with disdain or try to manipulate you thinking that you are weak simply in account of your appearance. That person who everyone says is extremely nice is nice to everyone but you. In every arena of life, you are disrespected and singled out. If you go to the grocery store, the cashier will likely not smile at you. If you go to the bar, the other patrons and even the bartenders will likely speak to you in a tone and using words that betray a slight condescension in their voice. Basically people will right from the outset and for seemingly no reason consider themselves superior to you and you will have to fight hard just to be taken seriously.
(I always have to fight hard to be taken seriously, people don’t think highly of me,)
5. People are biased against you. When you’re ugly people will automatically and subconsciously attribute negative features to you, while ignoring the positive ones. For example if you make any mistake at work you will be automatically labeled stupid or incompetent while your more attractive co-worker would be instantly forgiven and nobody would pay any attention the next day. The guy who only works half the time and spends the rest of the time playing video games right under the boss’s nose will be lauded and possibly promoted for his supposedly hard work while your work will never be acknowledged or rewarded. At most the boss might tell you “Thanks for doing that, Mike (not my real name). Now here’s your next task.” No acknowledgement no real gratitude, no nothing. And if you get into an argument with someone most people will immediately take the other person’s side and try to excuse their actions while lambasting yours, even if it is clear that you are right simply because they respect the other person more, and even if they see your point, nobody wants to be seen as the lone standout on the uggo’s team.
(Managers treat me this way, later I get laid-off. The first point can also be based on popularity more than appearance.)
6. People will compare you to other ugly people. If you want to be a businessman for example people will say “You might be the next Jack Ma.” Rest assured they would never say this to an attractive person because just saying that to them implies that they look just like Jack Ma, sans the money and status. In short it’s incredibly insulting. No they’d probably compare you to a more attractive billionaire like Mark Zuckerberg (not exactly super attractive/ model-handsome either, but generally considered above average looking. Oh and he’s rich.) If you want to be a quarterback nobody will say you might be the next Tom Brady either. And if you are looking for dates your friends might say “You and (name of girl) would make a great couple,” and the girl will usually be ugly or fat. If she isn’t, then she might have some other characteristic that makes her generally undesirable to guys (e.g. single mom, mentally unstable, etc). Rest assured an attractive person will never hear this because it’s assumed immediately that the ugly person is below his or her league and also it would be considered an insult to even suggest they should date someone less attractive. Meanwhile, if the same thing was said to an ugly person most people wouldn’t consider it an insult at all, in fact they’d just wave their hand and explain it away by saying that the other person was simply being realistic or that the ugly person needs to “man up,” “be a big girl” or “face the music.”
(No one compares me to anyone. The few guys I’ve been recommended are skinny pale nerdy ones.)
7. If you are truly ugly, then no amount of money or status will fully deflect people’s attention from how ugly you are. Yes if you become very rich you may still marry an actress/supermodel and people will defer to you but deep down your ugliness will be one of the first things they associate with you. Let’s go back to the Mark Zuckerberg/ Jack Ma example. Zuckerberg has some features that might be considered slightly unattractive to some, notably the fact that he’s red-haired, has freckles on his face, and is only 5’7″. None of these are considered terribly unattractive features but in general were it not for his riches he would be considered average or even a bit below. But because of his money and status people pay absolutely no attention to these features and many women consider him extraordinarily handsome. In short, his status has even mentally manipulated people’s perception of his physical appearance. But for someone truly ugly like Jack Ma, this is impossible. The first thing that usually comes to mind when they think of him is that he’s the founder of Alibaba, and the second is how ugly he is. In a similar vein, when people think of Napoleon the first thing that comes to mind is that he was the ruler of France, and the second is that he was short. Socrates, the famous Ancient Greek philosopher has also been ridiculed ad nauseum for his supposed hideousness. Basically if you are only below average and you succeed in life, then you will suddenly become hot and nobody will notice even that you have some physical flaws. But if you are very unattractive, then it doesn’t matter how rich, powerful, or successful you are. People will respect you more, yes, but in terms of their assessment of your facial and physical features, you’ll be fooling no one.
(Don’t have to worry about this one.)
12 comments
This person seems to have quite a hang-up over Jack Ma.
Also, I have seen so many guys who were uglier than me go out with women I wouldn’t even dare to speak with, so I don’t really buy it, not for men, anyway. (Justified) confidence can take you a long way. I think it’s similar for women. If they’re unattractive, but comfortable in their skin, they can probably go out with better guys than those who are beautiful, but deeply insecure.
You just need other things like charm to attract people.
Yeah.
Nepoleon was actually tall for his era/region. The short thing was negative propaganda spread to make him look bad
Just looked up jack ma… how ugly do you need to be to go “he’s not that ugly, kind of looks lIke dobby”?
I didn’t read most of this, but it really depends on who you’re dealing with. Attractiveness is an individual thing, one person may think you’re cute, someone else might think you remind them of a relative/family member.
Life is tough for anyone. What I always say is to do your best to stay in shape, take care of your hygiene, get enough sleep, eat as healthy as possible, wear clean clothing that doesn’t look too worn, and act friendly and/or assertive when in the right situations. If you do this, old, young, skinny, chubby, you’ll encounter people who are attracted to you (yes, even if you can’t walk and are in a wheelchair or something). You may not return that attraction, but that’s not something you need to worry about, unless you want to find a significant other and are having difficulty meeting someone wiith whom you want to go on a date.
I beg to differ. When you are ugly you are ugly. I can tell. I am almost always dress up because I am a lawyer. My clothes are ok and so my hygiene. But I am ugly. I am to thin (it is not my fault, it is a health condition), my skin is no beauty and I think my nose is big. I will die alone for sure. But it is ok, already accepted that. And I recommend that you accept that too. You will suffer less
how is this even relevant? Why does anyone give a fuck what other people think because they’re all mentally inferior and a whole lot of fucking dumb anyway, especially if it’s such minor concerns like who’s face looks like shit
“I’m ugly and I’m proud.” -Spongebob
I actually thought Jack Ma was a rapper.
Hahahaha, naww he’s a Chinese money-maker.
Some of these points are valid. As someone who was once attractive but isn’t anymore, I’ve experienced both sides. When you’re attractive (looks as well as charisma) you get noticed more often, people will listen to you and be more or less polite. If you’re ugly (looks as well as attitude) people will want to stay away from you. Where I disagree strongly is with #7 “no amount of money or status will deflect people’s attention from how ugly you are.” I think Nicolas Cage is butt ugly but he’s one of the hottest tickets in Hollywood. A better example would be someone whose status is based on their goodness rather than wealth. Abraham Lincoln’s face was not symmetrical so by aesthetic standards he (or let’s say some unknown person who looked exactly like him) was ugly. But nobody thinks of Abe that way. In fact we probably imagine him to be more attractive than he was, handsome, tall, gentle, respectable.
Female examples: holy crap I think lady Gaga is a double bagger if you were to strip away the makeup, lashes, provocative outfits and camera filters. But she can buy glamor and that’s exactly what she did. I won’t waste space with more examples, but you can google almost any celebrity “candid pictures” and realize many of these people are downright hideous without their expert makeup teams and fashion designers.
So yeah being ugly puts us at a huge disadvantage, but there are ways around it. If it really means something to you, you can find ways to fool people. Really though, the best way to look attractive is to be a good person and people will gravitate toward you. I don’t particularly want that, so I’m fine being ugly. I got bigger problems than the way I look.