It’s getting worse

I pissed off my grandad by “accidentally” losing the keys (they were never lost, but he doesn’t forgive me) and he constantly calls me day dreamy, in a ‘you’re fucking stupid’ way (which is what he told me when he Shouted at me about my ass always being in fairyland) and now my anxiety is at ridiculous levels because I fear him, my mum fears him too. I triggered his anger and now no one is happy and he gives me the silent treatment and I feel like shit because this is my fault. My social anxiety has finally reached true crippling  levels, I tried to talk to an employee at the cinema yesterday and ended up shaking horribly and crying. I can’t talk to anyone anymore, I’m even struggling to talk to my own mother. University starts in September, which you’d think was a reason for me to stay, but fuck, me living alone with a house full of strangers isn’t what sounds good right now, and I have to get a job now otherwise I can’t afford the cost of accommodation, which is impossible for me when my social anxiety has reached this stage. Everyone is better off without me, I feel trapped.