Is the end near?!?!? Are we there yet?!?!? Simply put, I have let go of all my worldly “Fears“. I feel as though I’m out of time and I’ve fallen far behind.
I no longer have the will to live nor the strength to carry on. I’m constantly haunted by my failures and I’m consumed by my endless self-hatred. Even the brightest days seem to feel dark to me and I have become comfortably numb.
My laughter and even my smiles are short-lived and the only constant is the misery that defines me now. I’m lost in a whirlwind and can no longer differentiate this reality from my dreams.
I am living a life void of boundaries and only blurred lines exist now. Only one thought drives me inside and I can’t slow it down…. I go to sleep at night, hoping I don’t wake up and If and when I awake, I am filled with deep sorrow, anger, and pain; knowing that I have to suffer through another day.
I live every day like its my last and theres no turning back, but its not by choice. I’m just praying that there’s no more “tomorrows” in my future. In my mind and in my heart, I have already checked out. I am only here physically and therefore can’t help but feel like I’m just an empty shell.
Yet, I feel too much and feel nothing at all… I care too much, yet I don’t care at all… I just want to die, yet some part of me won’t let go…. my life is no longer “black “and “white”, it is only “grey”…
2 comments
How you started it are questions I ask a lot as well. IS IT ALMOST OVER YET?? There’s nothing in this world for me..
Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read my post 🙂