I told my mom that I have been suicidal for years, and that I’ve attempted suicide a few times. Now she texts me every morning. I don’t know how to feel about it. Its just too little, too late. Where was the caring when I told her that our cousin molested me? Or when she locked me outside all night when I was 8 because my room was dirty. No, it means nothing now. I thought it would but I was wrong.
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Sometimes, after all these years of hope and despair, it’s just not enough anymore. You’re bitter and angry at her and you have the right to do so. After all, looks like she wasn’t there for you when you needed her most.
It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to not be okay.
Just keep tight, Ray.
Thank you
Effort is effort. Does it repair the pain of the past? Not generally. Forgiveness is the only salve for that, but anyone would have a hard time forgiving a family member for that sort of hurt. My own mother is no peach, and I have a constant challenge to see any value in her efforts. Yet she makes the effort, and that is of value to me.
I don’t think she’ll ever understand. Maybe it’s just not a mother thing to do.
Often, when things like this happen, people suddenly remember about you. Later, they just forget you again.
You could stop talking to her.
You could write a canned response, similar to what you wrote above, and send it to her every time she messaged you.
You could send her a bill for future therapy sessions.
You could tell her that your interacting with her is contingent upon her going to therapy.
You could lock her out one night.