Trying to hang on, but finding it so hard to. I won’t be in the country during Christmas, and was planning to come home, but my brother is leaving to see his Canadian girlfriend (who I am not a fan of). He wants to spend Christmas with her. Little does he know that I was planning on ending everything after Christmas. I was trying to hold off till then but maybe it will happen sooner. Oh well, my family doesn’t care… they only care in that specific moment when I am sick or depressed. They never bother to ask how I am. I guess they can make their apologies at my tombstone… Looking at methodologies that work…. failed twice before… so where are the serial killers at?