EDIT: “Safe Zone” is an adjective, not a noun.
Ive been thinking about trying to start up something different. I see it as a sort of safe zone for bullied, depressed, lonely, suicidal etc. people to know they can go to and get away, or out, whenever needed instead of feeling like there is nobody or nothing to do but be stuck at home alone.
A comfortable lounge type 24/7 building where there will always be at least one person on site, whether you just want to be near another human or even talk to one. No judgement, no cliques, no drama, no drugs, no photos or videos, no cost (non profit), no agenda other than provide an alternative to staying alone and miserable in your bedroom.
Nice, big, comfy chairs and couches all over to just sit and read or try and meet someone else in the same situations. Study table area if you want to get work done or go after school. Think mix between coffee shop / library for part of it. Coffees and teas at least available. Maybe topical reading material on site. Area with some TVs and streaming services. Maybe a movie room. Perhaps some are pre-programmed with “comfort food” shows playing binge style (friends or Star Trek or something like that) and others can be available to pick something specific.
decorated with a Zen style or something calming.
No pressure to do anything but recommended to be open if others try and talk to you.
Maybe even if funded well a Therapist or Psychiatrist could be on site at specific times in case anyone wanted to utilize that but couldn’t afford to or were not comfortable seeking it elsewhere. 15min walk-in sign up sheet style. Perhaps could arrange speakers to come informal and do kind of an AA style share meetings but about depression or suicide or bullying rather than substances.
You get the general idea. If there was something like this in your area, do you think you would ever make use of it? Even if just to not be alone for a little while? When you hit a bottom and wish there was somewhere to go to be near people other than a bar or somewhere you’d probably feel odd going alone and not full of the type of people you really have no interest in getting to know. Do you think it’s worth looking into more?
15 comments
” No judgment, no cliques, no drama, […], no agenda […]”
I am afraid all this goes against human nature.
No matter where i go, cliques are the first thing that i see being formed.
People often have an agenda that goes against the well-being of others.
We judge people a soon as we come in contact with them, consciously or subconsciously and a lot of us do not go beyond our initial impressions to try to understand why people are the way they are.
-» It’s a good idea though.
“if there was something like this in your area, do you think you would ever make use of it? ”
I would give it a try.
X2 lately on here there’s judgemental horrible people. I don’t feel safe.
I agree. But those would be enforceable rules. Like “no shirt, no shoes, no service”. Anyone making someone even slightly unsafe or uncomfortable would be banned.
I would probably make myself feel unsafe and ask to be banned. I’m mean to me.
I’d give it a try. But like after months when I can remember it exists.
I think this is a noble idea, but in practice it will probably fail due to human nature like Time said above.
For example, look at the people here on SP. Almost across the board we all hate society and avoid people in general because we don’t like them or we are very uncomfortable with them. Here online we mostly get along because we are separated by vast distances. But I’ll be honest, I bet if we were physically in a room together, our skin would start to crawl. Online if you don’t like what someone says, you can just ignore it. But if you’re in a room with someone who says something offensive (or even if they just have a really negative attitude) your anxiety levels will rise just being near them.
I guess my ideal safe zone would be a quiet place where nobody gets close to anyone else. But you can already find that in a park, in a library, or in a church. I don’t know if I’d want to sit in a library that’s exclusive to suicidal depressed social misfits… that would just feed my own disorders.
Get that for sure. I’m not thinking a suicidal club or something. My initial focus was thinking about bullying and what it does to people. I speak from experience. Perhaps the depression and loneliness that results from that, and causes suicides, is a bit different than purely from chemical reasons. More of a situational depression and subsequent social anxiety. But in the end, I wouldn’t want being bullied to be the requirement if someone with the same feelings could benefit from a place to go.
I would think there would be quiet zones. No one would be forced to interact. Sometimes just being in the vicinity of someone could help.
Obviously anything is subject to the pitfalls of human nature. And we’ve seen that in the Church, and in parks or anywhere people can go to do sketchy things. I like libraries…but they are going away. Same with giant bookstores that had nooks, crannies and coffee bars. Coffee shops are great but not comfortable enough or too crowded most of the time. But that’s the general idea. Except it would have to be a non profit and therefore focus a bit more on things people might support as a good cause.
The therapist or doctor aspect is similar to outpatient rehab groups. One day a week a specialist might be on site to meet with people and offer their services without extra hassle or payments. Even if just to help find an appropriate off site person to see. Not required by any means but quite a few people, especially younger ones, might have been too hesitant to see one officially but could try it out on the DL.
And I have seen non alcoholics use AA as group therapy. It’s quite a brilliant group and process actually. Really the only place you can go and expect to relate, can share your demons with no judgement (of course there are always outliers, but they truly are the exceptions) and hear others going through the same. I don’t think a lot of people know of Depression Anonymous, I don’t, but this I guess would be similar or even just a meeting place. But for other similar issues included.
I see now. Yeah that would be totally awesome. In my town they have a community boys club run by the police, I guess it’s like a safe zone for neighborhood boys, but what about adults who need it? Never heard of that, except specific support groups (like you mentioned AA). It would definitely be cool to find a place where anyone can go, even normal people having a bad day. The more I think about it, you have an awesome idea here.
Safe Zones for depressed people already exist. They’re called Depressed Anonymous, Church groups, monasteries and therapists where you can talk and pour your heart and not be judged in the process. Serenity and “Zen” like environment already exists in monasteries – Benedictine Christian monasteries and Buddhist monasteries already provide such an environment. Group meetups and the like in a social environment already exist in Depressed Anonymous groups. Therapists also already provide some kind of healing sessions where they try to fix up your broken psyche and patch the traumas in your life.
It’s a noble idea, that I agree on. If you want an all-in-one approach like this, then I suggest making a non-profit organization with all of the above (monks, therapists and Depressed Anonymous groups) so they can organize and help us out.
Services exist but are scattered, expensive, religious, political and easily missed or burdensome. There are youth centers and gyms but more focused on keeping kids away from the street than the bedroom. Suicide help groups tend to be cliche. You can have a shop that sells coffee, a deli and a library in the same town, or you can have a cafe that combines it all and becomes a different entity in doing so. Each has its place and which is better really only has to do with what you are looking for.
By no means is this promising to be better to someone than their therapist if they have one, or their church if they are religious. But I have to disagree that “safe zones” exist. There is too much of an agenda or alternative focus for each one of those things you mention to apply to many types of people that don’t utilize any on their own.
I think that it is a GREAT idea, but I would have one concern and that is it being taken avenge of. The concern is that people would come as a free hangout area and not as a safe place.
I very much agree. Whomever is onsite would have to be trained to recognize that and stop it. I don’t expect it would be perfect, but a decent set of rules and guidelines and an observant staff should help. The worst thing would be for people you are trying to escape to show up. That would pretty much be the top priority to avoid and stop in my mind.
It’s a wonderful idea, I would definitely give a place like that a try. It does seem a little far-fetched though, I doubt you’d get the funding. How much thought have you given this? Have you looked into the practical aspects of making this happen, or is it just an idea?
Ive given a lot of thought. I do well at my job, and have been hesitant to take any risks after getting royally screwed over by an ex wife, but I’m not happy doing it. It depresses me to think 10 years ahead and be doing the same thing. And if money wasn’t a concern, this is what I really would want to do. So it may be time to take that risk and forget about being safe for a bit (irionically).
Especially when I see famous people talking about stances on anti-bullying (like Kesha) or watching others like Linkin Park and Soundgarden etc get affected and speak out about the realities of depression. I have to think if approached correctly and a good plan was put together, it would be given thought at a minimum. They all do charities and there are enough out there that someone would sponsor, it’s just finding them. Perhaps a kickstarter or crowd funding to get a start? I don’t know yet.
I wanted to float it to the people here before getting in deep. Obviously this is the group that it would be trying to offer the most benefit. It appears it might be useful enough to seriously look into now, so thanks for everyone’s feedback.
I love the idea of this, I wish this was something near me