The pain , its there but at the same time not. The guy i just met tried hanging himself, i used to be able to keep the feelings inside me, not to take the final exit but ut happening to someone i actually started liking and that i thought was such a happy and creative person makes me think ” why dont you have the balls to do it” so all i am thinking about is : will the pain ever end or do i have to end it.
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Ugh. How is he doing?
A lot of “happy and creative” people can create great masks and we have no clue as to what’s going on underneath.
Does the pain ever end? Tough question. I think not for most. Most of us learn to adapt. The question is: what method do we use, and is it worse than the original problem. Meds, marijuana, illicit drugs, meditation, isolation…
I wish I had better answers, I’m sorry. Personally, I don’t know what takes more balls – staying or leaving. But I’m not going to judge either answer.
Understanding peoples wishes takes true balls. Supporting people I love and allowing them to make their own choices, regardless of my personal wishes. Standing by and just allowing things to happen without judgement. Stay, go. Just make it matter.
None of us have a future that doesn’t lead to a cemetery or in a pot of ashes. I been wanting to die for a decade….been miserable all of my life. When I was a Christian, I use to pray for god to take me to heaven in my sleep. That started when I was around 7. I stopped praying when I became an atheist around the age of 23.
I’m 33 now. Been divorced for 3 years, attempted suicide twice. I have been wanting out since 2007. Even marriage didn’t change my mind,
I been here for 33 years…the universe has been here for 13.8 billion. So what if I live to be 110? I’ll die not knowing I had a life to begin with.
Sometimes I feel as if I’m alone in my belief system. It hurts.
I hope you reconsider leaving. SP, that is.