it’s been over a year since i last post… honestly i forgot about this place until tonight. it’s been up and down a lot since but recently my stress and i guess depression has skyrocketed over very little things. tonight my mom got really angry with me and started cussing at me for the littlest of things and when i finally got to my room i blew up. i couldn’t breathe, i cried so hard and i gripped my arms so tightly with my nails that i broke skin and left my arms red. this has happened a lot, i get angry emotional. i refuse to go the route where i use a razor but i get so…upset that i just practically tear at myself and leave little marks that last for just the night and most times i end up in the bathroom throwing up. i don’t know how to deal with it.
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maybe i’ll be on more often since i’ve got thoughts to share again.
3 comments
welcome back to the party. we have better drinks this time.
hah good cos i need one
Yeah I have this kind of problem. I m bottling up my feelings in order to go on with my life and be ” normal” . But sometimes even of I don’t have the impression I am angry I have this urges to bleed myself. And I end up doing it and I go like ” it is okay I cut myself only twice and it probably won’t leave scars. ” But I now deep inside I m still depressed and f*cked up and that I am slowly sinking back to my dear little major depression. Best way of dealing with that ? Guess it depends. If you have the luxury of a good friend or therapist speak to them. If not, find a substitute to self harming : for example go running until you feel tired, scream, write down everything what is angering you and then destroy the paper in pieces. Personally I play the piano to calm me down ( or I get drunk, but don’t follow my example). Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Sorry to tell you that but probably won’t go away so soon so I wish you good luck even if luck is not something we have a lot here.