Future, more pain or relief?

I am thinking… Either my future will give me greater pain than what I experience now… Or it will bring me some reliefs?… Which one will it happen? Who knows? But the real question is can I handle more pain? I don’t think I want to. I do not want to be alive to see through it. Even if it could bring me joy or hope in the future. I am tired of play gamble with God.