I feel so ashamed of myself. How i reacted. Behaved. Im sorry that im so messed up. That i have ‘issues’. I wish i was normal. Normal for you. I wish i wasnt so fragile. So sensitive. I try really hard just sometimes i can’t hide it. It just comes out. I feel like a freakshow. I feel that people are judgeing me.. thinking I’m weird. Theres soemthing wrong with me. They dont like me. They avoid me because i make them feel comfortable they hate me. How do i get myself out of this loop.
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All you can do is apologize for the way you behaved and try to avoid a repeat.
Try to be mindful of your issues, especially how it affects interpersonal relationships. But that’s only part of it. Finding people who are willing to work with you as you work with yourself is hard, too.
Everyone has issues. Some people have experience with yours and can have more patience. And some people will like your weird.