It’s the right path

I’ve found myself in a hurdle, and more than ever suicide seems like the right path. Like the only path. It’s not tied to anxiety. I sat with my father last night after not seeing him for a few months. My mother the night before. I felt a bit sad about me not being in there future, but seeing neither of them changed my decision. It was like a calm acceptance with a bit of sadness. Like if you ever been sad watching the final episode of a show or movie.
I don’t feel overwhelmed but at peace. I get to go the shooting range today to get used to the feeling of a gun recoiling. I welcome it, and it’ll be the last thing my hands touch and feel.