Hey, sorry I’ve been gone. I’m tired. Not to be mixed with sleepy. Sleepy is a light feeling that is soft, and all you want is to cuddle and nap. Tired is a awful feeling where all you want is to lie in bed and do nothing. It’s monday, which means back to school, which means another terrible week full of people not giving a flying fuck about me. What makes this week about 10x worse? The fact that it’s also Valentine’s day. Last year at this time, I was at my peeking point. I was in love, I wasn’t cutting, I had loving friends, and I was just a happy person. Now? It’s all the opposite. I barley have any friends, let alone ones I trust, I’m still completely head over heels for someone, yet now they hate me, and I’m so depressed I’m barley managing in school. I don’t want to be alive anymore, nothing seems worth it. I feel like happiness is just beyond my grasp. I feel insane. I just don’t want to be here anymore. Nothing is helping and things are getting worse. I’ve recently gone to the hospital for a attempt, but no one even seems to care. I don’t know. It’s awful. I just feel like no one could ever give a shit about me. It’s just. The worst feeling. Thinking that no one cares about you. I just. Ugh. I’m sick of being alone. I just want to be loved. Cared for. By someone. To have someone by my side and feel safe, confident. Oh, how I miss that feeling. Being loved.
(if any of you wish to contact me outside of this website, my email is ollies2@educbe.ca, please email me, I’m awfully lonely.)
2 comments
Lovvely! I’ve been so worried about you.
If you are older than 16 you can chat with me if you want lol. idojac@gmail.com. I had my downfalls at 17, it was a year after valentines, when my ex two month later broke with me. In the meantime I had huge problems at home and some extra health problems.
on the outside I had six pack, done parkour and studied hard, but I was definitely breaking.
Let me know if you wanna chat. You will be my hideout