My story.

Hello, back in 2012 when i was 12-13 years old I got diagnosed with a severe case of depression and got medication as a result of therapy alone not working, my depression was caused by constant physical and verbal bullying and being alone not being able to ask my family for help because my brother had autism and i did not want to be a burden, a year goes by with medication and home schooling and I get to go back in school with a soft scedual (fewer classes than normal kids to care over my mental health) back then i where often on this site to share how i felt and support others who shared their feelings, I meet a group of nice people from all around the globe(i don’t talk to those guys anymore and sadly expect a few of them to be gone now :/) Life pass by and in my last year of ground school i get told i won’t get any grades because i where missing allmost all 7 years of school because of bullying and mental illness making it hard to learn anything, later that year i graduate with an ok grade and decide to take 10th grade (our school is from 6 years old in 0th grade to 16 years old in 9th grade) and improve on where i left and start to find myself since ive been drifting in mental illness for most of my life at that point and had gotten off my meds back in late 8th grade, Later that year i start to get more and more stressed because i asked too much of my self and thought everyone expected me to be able to take a normal work load and the stress started to give me panic attacks and people started to look at me as a freak so I was alone and scared for most of that year, so in easter 2016 I try to take my own life, back then i felt like that was the worst day of my life, up until October 2016 my life was just too depressed and afraid to not even leave my own room, ( this time i was not on meds for my depression but i got truxals to use when i where about to get a panic attack) one day my mom ask me ” who do you want to decide over your life, the goverment or yourself?” so i asked to get a job, nothing big only had one 3 hour shift each day and i was dead tired but i had some joy back in life i had something to wake up to again. life goes on like that and i get more and more hours at the job as i get better and better. I decide to get back into school and find myself again, to try new things and become a person again. I don’t remember much from my chilhood up until then in 2012 but i do remember one thing and that is the song working class hero by john lennon explains me as a person and my time as a kid growing up being a nothing to then start becomming something. Everyone says that its gonna be allright with time and push the ill to get better but the reality is, the person him/herself is the one who decide when they want to walk. “if you want to be a hero then just follow me” -John lennon.