What’s the point?

I feel so hopeless right now like what’s the point anymore of even going on, I want to take this metallic steal instrument and use it as a pencil to write things on my arm. I want to see the marks on my body like a canvas that gets splattered with crimson red. Or take this brown marker that is used for those who think highly of themselves as they all gather in a room and talk business, but rather then talking business I would use it to put out the flame that is my emotions. Emotions so strong that I can’t stand to feel them anymore so I do my best to look for a way out of this. I do my best to try as hard as I can but it seems as though it’s never good enough. Kinda like a fish that does his best to catch food in the water but instead he gets himself caught right on the lip by a mental hook. Not realizing that the very thing he is chasing always winds him five steps back again. Always wondering how he got there in the 1st place bc he was so close to obtaining his goals but just like everything else in life the fish never gets it. In the end we never really get what we want at all. So we settle, we settle in life because really that’s all we can do. We are meant for bigger things when we are younger, dreams of becoming a doctor and really making it in this life but as we get old life screws us all. Crushing our dreams and goals like how a recking ball destroys everything in its path. So I ask you, is life really all that good when it seems as though we are all rabbits running on a treadmill trying to catch a carrot which hangs from a white rope that is attached to a long stick. You run and run but no matter how hard you run it seems as though the carrot is just a finger tip away. Just as in life we work as hard everyday and we try our best but no matter how hard we really try to get there we are all just finger tips away never really getting what we want anyway. But yet we try and try no matter what happens. Wondering why we just don’t give up and say you win, to throw in the towel and just accept defeat once and for all.