My illnesses aren’t illnesses at all, they’re curses. I’m cursed. That’s why the medicine never works. Medicine can’t heal someone who isn’t sick. I’ll never be healed.
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Spot on. Ditto.
Hey WF. I have read your posts for some time. May I share?
For better than four decades I called myself cursed. Then about two psychiatrists, three counselors, and perhaps about five therapists later I found a therapist who could actually help me.
As for the drugs, they essentially work for no one. The “work” they do is that of inhibiting the expression of trauma and illness. They might buy some time, at best. The side effects range from mild to hideous.
Thank you, but therapy would be just as useless for me as pills. Talking to someone for an hour a week isn’t going to un-crazy me.
oh wow. oh man. So what I did was look at your “about wiskered-fish” and in seconds I saw the reference to aspie. Sorry WF. I can’t imagine. Yeah, talking to someone ain’t gonna help. They have to know what to say. They have to do their work. I hope there is hope for you.
Maybe you just got hit with an unlucky combination of difficult biology and early life experiences? In which case the reasonable response might be to recognize and empathize with your own struggles, and try to limit the amount of suffering they cause you.
Difficult biology. That’s a possibility. But the odds of that seem so, so remote.
So you don’t think your delusions, paranoia, etc. could be the product of a brain that’s operating sub-optimally, due to some combination of biology and adverse life experience? What’s the alternative? If someone did ‘curse you’, how could that manifest in your actual experience? Your thoughts have to come from somewhere, right?
I don’t understand your question.
Never mind, they were probably dumb questions. Be good to yourself.
@a1957 I’m not referring to my autism. I’m referring to my psychosis. Or schizophrenia, if you believe the latest diagnosis. Thank you anyway, though.
Oh ok the schizophrenia diagnosis – if true – not fun. So I take it you probably can’t get out much or am I hopefully wrong on this?
I try to, but it’s hard to do when you can’t drive and are absolutely certain that people are spying on you.
It would be hard to get out, yes. I am sorry. That paranoia sounds miserable. Ok so yeah, if someone were to actually help you they are going to have to be the type that wants a challenge, thus willing to do the work, and so, cares.
Lol, yup, I certainly am a challenge. And unfortunately, I’m also not worth going through all that effort.
Forgive me if this comes out messy. This was hard for me to put in words.
That not worth it thing gets tricky. There are general presumptions of personal worth. There is a personal presumption of unworthiness I, you, and lots of others share. In a broken state of mind we are a potentially a healthy (or healthier) person that has not yet received useful help for trauma ( usually there was one or more) and/or meaningful guidance on how to navigate life with the mind we do have while improving it if through certain actions we learn to take.
Now if we say we are not worth fixing (says one of us to ourselves) because we are sick, but still yet to find an effective helper, our presumption of not being worth it is actually premature. I t was never a worthiness issue but actually a matter of getting the right two people together. A personnel issue if you please.
But why are you so sure you’re crazy?
The incessant paranoia and delusions that greatly impair my ability to function.
Fair enough. I guess crazy doesn’t necessarily mean unlikeable.
Can of worms. Define normal. Hmmmm……well crap.
That isn’t a can of worms at all. Normal is easy to define. It’s just math. A norm is something that’s “usual, typical, or standard.” For example, the overwhelming majority of people have two eyes. Having two eyes is the norm. It’s normal. So having only one eye is abnormal.
Well crap. I don’t have two brains. So I’am not normal…..oh crap. Here we go again. Although I have two thoughts of my suicide. Oh-double crap….I’am not normal. I had one thought of being ok. Flushing sound…..O-triple crap……I’am hopefully dead. I dont wanna play this game anymore…….
Are you gonna get an exorcism? 🙂