I just tried hanging myself a few minutes ago. Won’t go into specifics, but I did it in such a way that I could pull myself free. I don’t even have the willpower to die.
I have all the resources, all the time I need, and I still can’t endure the pain. I feel hot, and my head is ponding pretty hard. I was so close. I don’t even feel sad about this, just disappointed in myself for how pathetic I am.
3 comments
Listen you I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but maybe the reason why you pulled yourself out of it means that you have some will to live. If you had completely and utterly given up, then you would have let yourself hang. That means you must find some value to living, even if it is small. Try and think of what that is. It’s there.
You’re not pathetic. You’re lucky. To be alive. I’m glad you didn’t go through.
Man, u must be going through some hard stuff. I know it’s not easy. I’m sure I know how you feel. I was trying the rope earlier today. At first I felt glad I was going to end my life, but now I realize how scary it is to go through with it.