I need to finish the job. I’m diseased, weak, incompetent, and broken. I am a burden on those around me. The sooner I can shut my brain down, the better.
What little life and social skills I had accumulated have gone away. I am now a hermit, wholly supported by my aging parents at the age of 21. I wasn’t meant for this world, and the only one who can rectify this is myself.
7 comments
You’re 21?
I like hermits. Why don’t you go live in the mountains or something if you want? I think I will, sometime in the future (not sure for how long though). If you don’t like the world and people, it doesn’t mean that you have to die (there are many dead people too you know), you could return to nature instead. Then again that’s what I would like to experience. Walk your own path as you wish.
unless you mean by doing it without money and this would be an extremely harsh lifestyle which I don’t know whether they (or me, or others would manage that harshness), then this isn’t practical advice
Dunno. That’s what I want to do 😛 I think it’s going to be nice (and hard I guess, I have to train and learn stuff).
Please stay. Don’t go. You parents need you in their lives. Was there a time when you felt a little better? What were you doing? The reason I ask is that when I am paralyzed with powerful thoughts of ending my life. I think about 1 thing I can do for myself that gives me music. Some days it is being outside for a few minutes and looking at a beautiful flower or listening to music or going for a walk or eating something I enjoy.
I start to feel a little bit more worthy of living. Bit by bit, small movement. Other times doing something kind for someone else makes be feel useful. Just trying to help. You have courage and resilience to hang in there and that is a skill worth exploring further. You are so young. I am sending you some positive thoughts, energy and light. Hope you keep telling us more of your story, I care and you are not alone.
speaking from 24 i can say that 21 is still well within those formative years. We’re really still at the beginning. i think older folks shake their heads when they see us jerk our knees and clock out in our teens and early 20s….
that’s disappointing to say the least
after a while you start to see time for what it is. you get caught up and start making bigger plans. A grown person can change themselves. If you’ve made it this far keep on a while longer
It’s the radio silence that kills me…the constant steady stream of posts…. subconsciously seeking for love and acceptance somewhere and then it goes cold. Nothing. I hope wherever you are that your ok, been reading your posts and I got upset, been going through shit myself. I just hope you’re ok x