I think I’ve finally figured it out. I live on the 15th floor of a NYC apartment. I think it’s fate. All I need to do is go out the window. I think they knew I’d end up here and that’s why I got this apartment. I’m done. I’m on my way out. Thanks for everything suicide project. It’s been real.
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Might be too late, but I had some specific questions for you because I noticed your posts go 5 years back struggling with suicidal thoughts. Mainly I want to know if it was 5 years of pure hell, or did you have some “up” times. It may not make a difference to you at this point, but I’m still trying to hang on for a little longer (obligations) and I need some shred of hope from someone who has been in this battle as long as I have. Of course if it’s too late, well, [nothing to say]
LostOlHope/Perrin, Ive also been here since 2012. And I thought I was at the end of my rope – which I was. But met an amazing person here and life changed for the better. There is hope. We recently ended the relationship after 5 years but I had been in such a better place and gained such new perspective that it didnt send me into a complete mental breakdown or suicidal mission when it ended. Theres so much world out there
Thanks Goose for that reassurance. Sites like this are usually filled with bad stories making it look like everyone’s miserable every day of their lives. At the same time, old members disappear and come back years later usually in a depressed state, also implying every day is misery. I wish I could get an accurate roadmap for what lies ahead. Good to know you have a positive experience to report.
… Isn’t that sort of the point to usually feel that way if you’re depressed and suicidal?
Sure it would be nice if some people got better, but I don’t think this outlook needs to be forced too strongly, as it might seem kind of unlikely, idk…
Thinking of you and the struggle you’re go through.
So much of what you’ve relayed here, as well as your other posts, resonates with me. The tank. Fifteen stories. Educated. “Successful” (depends upon one’s definition, I suppose).
I don’t want you to be all alone right now—I’m not here to save you, dissuade you, or wish you a nice fall—but if you want someone to communicate with, my email is sweetquietus at protonmail dot com.
Really hope to hear from you, LOH.
Hoping to hear from you.