Smile!
This is how you choose to be happy.
Laugh!
This is a way to make today less crappy.
Believe!
In yourself or at least in the chance for change.
Because…
Change is the only constant even though that may sound strange.
I struggle with chemical depression and I won’t take medication. I also have had a pretty shitty life. I spent a lot of time in depression because my life sucked and I didn’t help myself get better. Meds only go so far for all of us. We have to try extra super hard to get a long in life than others but it’s not so hard to do when you make a practice of it.
I’m sorry if I have upset you.
Try to think of it like this.
To be successful you have to look and act successful.
It is a choice and a HUGE struggle to succeed and it’s a lot like an addict trying to quit.
Just because you feel something inside doesn’t mean you have to give in to it.
27 comments
No no no no no… to be able to be happy, you need a reason to be happy. I can smile all I like and I’m not going to magically be happy.
By the way studies show that smiling actually helps improve your mood. It’s not magic.
Isn’t being happy the reason? How about not being depressed?
There are plenty of reasons if you like. We’re still talking about choice my friend.
I remember now why I stopped coming here.
The truth will set you free and this is a place for people who like cages.
Nuff said. You all obviously have it figured out so…
Heck yeah let’s just smile and be happy! Oh yeahhhh!
Lol xD
Do you want to be happy mouse?
Is it helping you to be happy when you focus on your depression?
Yeah that’s right just gotta smile and be happy for the heck of it.
For no reason.
JUST BE HAPPY!
I’m laughing so hard, I just…
Well at least you’re laughing. You probably feel better too.
You getting my drift yet?
Yeah let’s just be happy mouse. Let’s all put on those fake smiles. I mean, it couldn’t be any more than that. It’s not like life isn’t complicated. It’s our own fault why we’re not happy. We just refuse to smile despite the myriads of problems we have. So let’s go on laughing despite having no reason to smile or laugh. LOL XD
Or you could be a cynic and re-word my advice.
Guess what Black Holez. You get to choose.
You think I don’t have problems or my life is great? Think again. I’m broke and alone too. My daughter taken from me and I haven’t gotten to see her in 3 years. No pictures or anything. My younger sister has custody of my little girl too. Every one uses me because I am too nice and giving.
Yet I sit here happier every day… I fight my depression with my power to choose happiness and then being happy.
No just smile. Everything – the pain,the misery, the problems will all just go away. XD
Ok that’s really nice for you if you are able to uh, choose to be happy despite all that.
Hey I started a new life with my mum some months ago despite being trapped in an abusive household for years and years.
But the truth is that only happened cuz she has a pension, i.e the money to do so.
That’s why I won’t make posts here saying…. hey! are you in a bad environment? Just leave and start a new life!
Ah without money the world is a s h i t t i e r place than what it already is.
Oh btw since I’m wallowing in my misery, my new years resolution is to learn how to save money.
IRONIC.
Likey my rant? 😛
*my own money
You already understand what I’m saying mouse. You are choosing to make your world better by saving. That will make you financially stable and if you need it will be a catalyst for happiness (ie: your reason)
You’ll get the smiling part down sooner or later.
Cheers!
I won’t comment on the idea of smiling being the cure for suicide.
Instead, I’d like to present a practical benefit of not smiling. You won’t develop wrinkles and crows feet. So you’ll be the prettiest person in the morgue.
J/k. Thanks for the positivity, flutterby. I shall consider it.
Thanks for the great example salt.
I never said anything even close to smiling being the cure for suicide. You changed my words to fit your defeatest attitude. Thats you not me.
If you want to be depressed and suicidal you will be. If you dont want to you will fight it.
Sorry for the negativity there. I didnt get past reading your first comment about the cure….
Anyway….didnt mean to be an ass and hope I didnt bring you down. Youre not a defeatest at all. I was wrong. Let my emotions get the better of me.
No worries! Sarcasm comes across in weird ways through a computer screen. No offense intended, just a stupid joke 😉
Aha, the good old fake it til you make it line. You’d be shocked how often I’ve seen it with inpatient psychiatric patients. These patients are really hard to work with because they are convinced that they can paddle through therapy by believing it’s already better.
It’s kind of a twisted version of visualization, a powerful tool for goal setting and achieving. I do visualization a lot. I set the goal, right, then I visualize what the goal will look like complete. This makes the middle steps easier. Yet I must be a military commander in my brain to make things happen. Like a drill instructor I make myself march towards the goal. Yes, I know the goal is silly, that is so not the point. The point is march.
I usually get there too.
I’m not happy all the time when functional, but I’ll take functional over happy any day of the week. Productive makes results. Results satisfy me and lift me up towards health. Happiness makes me lazy, I think everything is okay and suddenly something slips and there I am on my back, wondering why I fell on my butt.
I’m not human enough to have full range feelings all the time. All those feelings are for times of rest, if there is time between the eating, the sleeping and taking medicine. For pushing past depression, goals work.
Also, not my circus or monkeys, but I think the reason people are getting upset is the implication that there is one answer. There’s things to be said for attempting to find the good in things, and I can see that you mean to help. Yet empathy is complicated, as complicated as the people that need it. The people around here have been hurting for a long time.
Just my bit on what you’ve been talking about. Thought provoking stuff, just in a way that initially causes pushback and then I analyze and understand what it’s getting at.
This isnt fake it till you make it.
How often are you happy and frowning? Its called taking the first step. Making a choice yo try to be happy and for real.
Everybody here just hears what they like so…
I will tell you, there is not one phrase i have hated more in my entire life than “smile” or “why aren’t you smiling?”
What people are really saying is…be strong enough to go through life in a way that doesn’t make you ugly to those around you because no one else has time to get sucked into your depression.
that’s true and i wouldnt want to do that. if i have a reason to smile i will. if i don’t i wont, because i am not a LIAR.
we smile when we’re happy we dont smile to become happy. if you have the strength to pull a kind expression out that;s truly wonderful
if i am deeply downtrodden i will show no expression or try to hide my bleaker appearances. anyone who asks me to smile for the benefit of their own view/perspective in the world can fuck off.
That fuck off is not necessarily directed at you flutter just ranting about people in general. I’m sure you’ll interpret this as me choosing to stay depressed
Agreed AgentQ . I hated hearing “Smile” from my mother. She was the one who fostered my depression but did not want to see the results of it. To add to what you mentioned:
“Snap out of it”
“Smile”
So insulting to the depressed. We don’t tell amputees to “Stand up!” nor do we tell them “Dance!” but many dismiss mental issues without a second thought.
I don’t want to dismiss anything. I know it’s very difficult to deal with all that we discuss here.
I also don’t know how else to interpret that AgentQ. I’m not a liar either and I’m not lying when I say I would rather not be depressed. I also know that happiness isn’t something you wait for. You don’t ask an amputee to get up or dance. Not until they have artificial limbs and get past their own issues with the loss of their limbs but then you do ask them because it’s healthier for them. It will improve their life and they will be better off for it. It’s because we care (not that everyone that asks cares or even that everyone who cares asks. Have to discern that for yourself).
I’m not asking anyone to smile for anyone but themselves. You never should but many here will smile for others and things only and you all can recognize it. If you are going to be happy because you won the lottery why not be happy because you just plain want to be? Why not try and make yourself happy and just a simple smile is a great place to start.
A smile is just a frown turned upside down
An upside down town is a girl in a gown
A girl in a town with an upside down gown
A town is a noun, what’s goin’ down
So smile and be happy
Walk each mile feelin’ less crappy
By losin’ your gown
In a town
Of upside down frowns.
What???
Ah that’s great. That’s wonderfully funny….
Like you said…..what???
Haha
@flutterby
I totally understand where you’re coming from flutter, but you knew before you posted this what reactions you would get. you didn;t resent your arguments well and they were received as one would expect.
If you’re persistently unhappy in life…even when something good does come you may dismiss it as not real to justify your preexisting perceptions. you may deny it because you’re afraid of the possibility of being happy and then falling back down again.
flutter any amount of pain can be endured with the right mindset. ive seen monks incenerate themselves and not budge until they died. does that mean when your mother catches fire you’ll dismiss her cries of pain as her choosing to suffer?
no. we all know better. human psychology is innate and irresistibly strong most of the time and for you to just come and suggest it’s as simple as a choice is absurd and insulting.
that being said you’re absolutely right that we must struggle for a firm conviction against depression. but ive seen many people on this site and elsewhere who just barely hit upon this knowledge and turn around and profess it to the world like it was all so simple.
ive done the same myself and had the same responses.
somewhere between too much acceptance and too much denial is the middle ground we need to make real changes in our lives