How painful I won’t do it because of fear and remorse of putting my family and friends through a second attempt but since no one will peacefully and painlessly kill me I was just curious I won’t do it because I tried my first attempt and don’t believe I should try my second due to the panic and the regret and survival instincts will kick in like when I tried 32 benadryls the pain and fear even though supposedly I won’t have died on just 32 benadryls.
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Depending on tolerance, body weight and other drugs in the system, 32 benedryl isn’t that much in the scheme of things. Toxic is much more than that, and if you reach toxic you’ll more likely throw it up and feel awful than die. I’ve taken substantially more than that (through incremental dosing) over the course of an evening. It doesn’t make the sleep any deeper, though it does stay in your system for a few days and make everything feel weird. It also messes up circulation and a few other things.
FYI all pills lead to OD death, I haven’t found a single “painless” version of this. Usually it’s the liver shutting down and/or cardiac arrest, both of which hurt a lot. It’s also irritating to paramedics because they can’t figure out what you took to stabilize you. Waking up in the ER with all the medical staff angry at you is pretty terrible…. there’s a fair amount of times this leads to inpatient hospitalization which in my state is the nonviolent version of jail.
Yeah, I went to a psych ward/looney bin for a few days due to it I do have the trazodone which “could kill me” but I don’t have the strength nor will to do it I rather have someone just peacefully kill me but that won’t happen either way I should just keep living, I guess. I did think about using trazodone but decided not to.
There’s all this stuff all over organizations about how interfering with a suicide is wrong and how mental hospitals are corrupt. Can’t believe they do things like that to young adults who want to end their life. I think the site is called sanctioned suicide.
I’ll look into that website not certain if that website actually is legitimate I am looking at it now but probably won’t post my information on it unless it is real plus I might coward out of it like the panic and regret like last time due to survival instincts.
I have posted to p*rtner suicide. I haven’t found any but it’s on the back burner. I kind of want to engage in that sort of thing
I’ve been ready so long that with the right method I have no survival instinct just desire to get out of here