I’m really upset right now and I haven’t felt like this in a long time. I thought I was getting better. I stopped making suicide jokes and I was starting to feel like I was worth more than nothing. I know I don’t have a very good reason to kill myself but I want to so I can shove it in my mom’s face. She always yells at me when I know I’m in the wrong and she says things like there must be something wrong with me and that I’m messed up in the head. And it hurts me. It hurts me a lot. I wish I could ask her to please stop I don’t want to hear her talk because she’ll just turn it against me. I don’t do anything bad, I just sometimes forget to do the laundry or the dishes. I don’t think she knows how much she is hurting me. And it hurts to get yelled at I don’t like it at all. I leave every time feeling very upset. I wish I had someone I could talk to but I’m not truly close to any of my friends and I don’t think they will support me and take me seriously if I try to talk to them. I have come up with a way to kill myself and I can do it. I hate this because I don’t want to but I don’t know what else to do. If I do it at night I will be dead by morning. I hate how she has so much power over my emotions. I don’t want this. I don’t like to feel this way. I wish I could talk to someone. I know I am not as valid as everyone else because I am not going through serious issues but I needed to let this out.
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4 comments
The problem is that you have no backbone. You need to stand up for yourself. If your mom is nagging the f out of you, then you need to tell her to stop. Also if you do the chores you’re supposed to do, then she’ll have nothing to yell about. If she’s not a ***** she probably cares about you and doesn’t want you to fail in life.
When you’re both calm, just have a talk with her and tell her that you can’t handle all the yelling and that she just needs you to ask once or twice to do something and you’ll do it.
If you’re not doing chores as she requested, then is it really her fault? All of us have to do such chores, it’s necessary so you should know that you have to pull your own weight.
You don’t need to commit suicide over this, just toughen up a little. Yes there are far worse things in life than what you’re going through but no issue is trivial if it makes you feel suicidal. If you’re emotionally troubled/depressed, perhaps you should tell her you want to talk to a therapist, it might help.
blanked word was: btch
You sound pretty young so DON’T do anything drastic. Your mom would be devestated if anything happened to you, by all means express your problems here but try and keep a cool head, I hope your feeling a bit better!
When my parents act like that to me yea I get it I want to commit because I hate them. But I have no future I planned nothing other than to commit suicide as a young child I told myself I would commit the day I became an adult. I didn’t want to become an adult either I would have gladly committed suicide as a young child, but that was what I thought I had to do because I didn’t have any methods and you had to be 18 in my state to purchase a gun. Realistically I was ready to commit suicide by idk, 15? Maybe younger. I can’t really remember those years.
I don’t care if I’m f*cked in the head ya know as long as I get what I want (to commit suicide and not wake up another day in this life)
Now I’m just 24 and nothing has happened.. no one knows who I am and I have my rights