I honestly don’t even know why I am still here. I look back and think of how many times I have been up at night crying, sometimes for not much reason at all. I look back and wonder why I have been so ready to go but haven’t yet. I don’t have the energy to be here anymore. I dont have the social capability to function here anymore. It has taken me too many rough patches to realise that there is nothing keeping me back here anymore. I just know that I can’t handle being here for another hour longer.
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2 comments
I don’t know why I am alive either. I’ve never cared about having a social life. I sadly know I have been ready to commit but haven’t yet and I am SO ready to commit suicide, I keep postponing not because I have one god d*mned thing to stay alive for (I never have) but I do fear it will be painful for body to die, and I guess that last moment pain is what keeps me putting it off. I originally just planned gunshot to head because you won’t feel anything one way or another and it’s so fast, now I can’t get a gun to do that… any other method I choose you will probably feel yourself slowly dying……. I guess I fear that. Is why I was leaning very strongly on the gunshot method.
I feel the same except I kind of do have a social life and I care a lot about what is left of it anyway. I assume you live in America if you can get a gun? See that isn’t at all an option in Australia. Although my fear isn’t of the pain anymore because I have enough of it here. My fear which is stopping me is that it won’t work…