“… For what is your life? It is just a vapor that appears for a moment and then vanishes away” James 4:14
I know I’m a fool, because I feel like it’s better to die in hell than live anymore. Worse still there are sins that I’m struggling to let go and it just feels like I’ll go to hell for them anyway. So why waste time? But God tells me every now and then through other people or random sources that it’s wise and better to keep living. Are you suicidal and a Christian? How do you reconsile yourself?
17 comments
I don’t have much to say so I will leave this one open to real Christians or anyone else, but since I spend every free moment on this site and read everything, I can say I’ve never been to church, but I used to ‘believe’ in ‘God’ as a small child I would pray to him.. I’d clasp my hands close my eyes and I would say “God, I know I ask for way too much, but if you could only answer this one prayer I will never ask anything ever again. Would you please make it so I don’t wake up in the morning ever again. Would you pleaser me die in my sleep. I don’t want to kill myself but I don’t want to live this life. If you could, would you please make me not wake up in the morning and die painlessly in my sleep on this night.” Of course I was probably only 7, but I prayed this at least once a week until I turned 15. I’d go to sleep crying my eyes out every night. It was kind of like writing a letter to Santa Claus and asking him to bring you a gun for Christmas.
He never answered my prayer, how could I believe in him now. I came to him honestly, open, and sure that I was ready to die and he ignored my prayers.
I understand you were in pain, and I don’t know what you were going through inside. But that’s what happens when you don’t know who God is. You think just because you know He exists then you know everything about Him. You would see the ignorance in what you’re saying if you took the time to know who He is. He is merciful, loving, abounding in goodness and righteousness, the protector of the weak and the strength of oppressed. He is the life giver and you ask him to take a life? How can he take your life when desires to see you live and grow? Would you ask your own mother or father to put a knife in your chest? You probably don’t care about what I said but God deserves more respect than what you are showing. It makes no sense to me, forgive me but I see no reason why you should ask God to kill you and then be angry when He doesn’t. He is not a hypocrite, he would not say that he defends the weak, and then in another verse kills someone in need of his love. Anyway, there’s more to such things and I wish you would look into it or talk to someone who is Christian in the word. God bless.
Ex-Christian here. A true Christian would never consider suicide because they would have faith in Jesus to save them. That is literally the definition of being a Christian: having faith that Jesus will save you. Not so here. So, logically I realized that I must not truly believe in Christ. I still believe in goodness, being kind to others, and all the teachings of Christ, but I sure as hell don’t believe he can save me. My suicide will prove my point.
I would not believe that sorry to say. Being a Christian is about faith but struggling with faith doesn’t make you any less a Christian. Christ does say, “The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”Matt 26:41. In my inner spirit I want to live and obey Christ but the fear that arises in my flesh tells me to give up. But I want to have joy and not unbelief. I’m sorry to hear you lost your faith, but it is as much a journey as a struggle. As Paul says ” God’s grace is sufficient for us, for His strength is made perfect in weakness. So I boast in my weaknesses, for when I am weak then I am strong” 2 Corinthians 12:9. I will stay on my road but I am truly saddened to hear you gave up, and I don’t know how you reason yourself knowing what you know. But I pray that you find hope in Christ again. So we can fight this battle together.
The reason I hesitate to commit suicide is because I’m a christian. To my knowledge nowhere in the bible does it state that those who end their own lives wont be allowed into the gates of heaven. It makes sense to me that God put everyone here on this earth for a reason, though many wont fulfill it. Is there a reason why I’m here now, I know my life is full of mistakes. Perhaps somewhere along the line in the past few years I got off track and missed any of the potential life had for me. I’m still young but the missteps I took have ever bearing consequences that will cost me any happiness life had to offer me. I know what awaits me is more likely than not is loneliness, depression, and suffering; both mental and physical. Why does God feel I must stay on this earth if I may have missed my purpose in this life, and why is he going to allow me to suffer while I’m here. What is it good for me to be here, surviving each day in a miserable existence. Maybe God had an intent for all of what has happened to me to occur is working something through it. But how could this be, God wont even heal me of my health problems; I know this true, it would be asking to much. The things I’ve done to myself, I know I will suffer the consequences when I’m older and God will do nothing about it. Its less of a matter of God healing a specific disease and more of avoidance of something going wrong in my weak body. I’ve never seen God preform a miracle firsthand; so I have much doubt that he’ll spare me of any afflictions. And its not like what occurred in me was something I was autoimmune to it was the result of a stupid choice. Maybe if I already had the disease more or less naturally God would spare me, but since it was self inflicted he will have no mercy. He will let me suffer on and on until I die.
If I’m only here to suffer and have no real meaning in this life, then why am I forced to keep living. Maybe I should let it pass, I admit that this life is stupidly short compared to the rest of eternity. No matter how much pain I face, it would be foolish to make such a drastic action as committing suicide. I don’t know if god condemns suicide, but I hope he doesn’t; there’s to many good desperate people who felt like they I had no other choice. I don’t have any way to cope with life as a christian, I just fear where I would be the moment after I hanged myself, or jumped off a bridge. I’d swear I’d do it if I did not believe in God. I’m kind of annoyed when people who aren’t christian’s tell you that shouldn’t commit suicide, because it is wrong, that life will get better, or you have loved ones that care about you. But for some like me life shipwrecked and wont turn around, its better just to end something that’s not going to work out..
I’ve never had a prayer or wish answered, I’m just blindly following my fear of the afterlife; I’m almost certain that christianity is the true religion; and the origin of the earth. So I want to make things right before my time is up. I fear that I will be judged after I die, maybe those who have a relationship with Jesus know that God wont cast them down. Like that song ‘blessed assurance’
You’re right, there is nowhere it says that suicides go to hell, but it does say “You shall not kill” Exodus 20. And Christ says to paraphrase that “The devil was a liar and a murderer from the beginning, and all who lie and kill are children of the Devil.” John 8: 44. It’s a sin to kill another person that’s obvious so it’s a sin to kill yourself as well because Paul says “Don’t you know? That your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God and that your bodies do not belong to yourselves because you are bought with a price. Therefore worship God in your body and your Spirit which belong to God” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. So there’s no doubt if you kill yourself then you have sinned against God. Because “to him who knows to do good and does it not, to him it is a sin” James 4:17… I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that suicide is a sin and there is no way anyone can twist the scriptures to convince a wise person otherwise. But despite knowing this, I am sometimes troubled enough to think it is better to be dead than to live. Like Elijah who told God he wants to die because Jezebel was about to send people to kill him. He feared they would torture him and murder him gruesomely so he prayed to die because he was afraid. We all have moment like this because if the great prophet Elijah who was taken to heaven without dying could be so afraid he prayed to die, then any man can face this. I know you and I are different people but I am thankful you shared this and I hope we can give each other strength to keep believing
Wow! I haven’t been on this site for years let alone left a comment. I don’t even know what my name is on this site but once I google suicide project I saw this very post and I was like let me see if I even know how to login so I did. So I feel it is meant for me to comment right here.
I am a Christian. Not sure if you have ever heard of Apostolic Pentecostal but that is what I am. I have tried multiple times to commit suicide and of course I’m back to thinking about it or I would not have searched for this site.
My life has changed so much since I was last on this site. I believe sometime in 2012 is when I was here. I have a beautiful amazing daughter now. She just turned 6 and she has made my life happier, although I feel like I’m a horrible worthless mama. Although I could have easily aborted her, she was the product of rape but OMG she’s amazing!! I have also moved 5 states away for the benefit of now going to the most amazing church on the planet. I can’t tell you I don’t love God! He is my everything along with my daughter! But I can tell you life is just an everyday struggle. I do feel like I’m drifting away from Him which I’ve done too many times in the 30 years I’ve lived for Him. But I feel like He understands. He created me and YOU!! Life has its ups and downs we just have to figure out how to survive thru them. Find out our purpose which is not always easy to do. Make someone smile or laugh could be the purpose for that day. You’re welcome to contact me via email if you’d like to talk more. There’s so much more I’d like to write but I’m at work right now. Email: sberkley34@gmail.com
Thank you for this, I know many people who are saying they are Christian find it hard to give encouragement but you did and God bless you for that. I will try to reach out.
Umm I hate to intrude on your “I won’t respond to any trolls or atheist comments” umm…not trolling nor am I an atheist anymore. But I’m also not Christian. However my step father is a die hard Catholic/Christian (sorry for my ignorance but I don’t see much of a difference between the 2 and I don’t exactly remember which he is lol) anyway I just wanted to ask…..mmmm how to word it without sounding mean. Ok if it comes off mean I’m really sorry I’ll say that now. And I’ll also say I tried to read the bible and failed. So I’ll ask about what I do know. (Ex the flood and what not) and if my questions make you question your belief I’m again really sorry. That’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m just really curious. How can one believe that he created things? Because the way I saw it was they just magically appeared. Now I may be missing something in everything I say and that’s what I’m hopefully getting you to explain. And then there’s the matter of the flood. I mean that had to be a lot of work and a really big boat. Plus how did they not become the others lunch?
Yeah those are my best questions because everything else I know a whole lot less about. Again sorry if I offended or made you question things. Or sounded mean. Really none of that was my intent.
The only part of the Bible I have a serious ethical problem with is when Balaam threatens to murder his poor donkey because his donkey said it didn’t want another beating, and asked what it did to deserve that. It was a fair question. Balaam was a dick to talking donkeys.
After reading that passage, I started having a hard time calling myself a Christian. It just spiraled down from there.
WHAT!? NOT THE POOR DONKEY!!!! WHAT DID HE DO? :'(
I’m not the kind of Christian that you seem to be. God doesn’t tell me anything. And if he did, I probably wouldn’t believe him.
In the first place, why do you have to reconcile anything with anything. Always struggling to wipe out contradictions. As if contradictory beliefs somehow make them incorrect, as if there’s always one answer to everything.
Why live by God’s laws if you have a problem with them? What carrot could someone possibly dangle in front of you to give up your own autonomy willingly?
Yes, I’m a Christian. But I’m not concerned with the carrots in the Bible, or the old testament. Christ is a cool guy, his story holds many hidden meanings and layers, so I’m with him. Because I like him. The rest is extraneous.
Pretty sure God understands that if you subject someone to enough stress, they will commit suicide.
King Saul committed suicide. As well as a few others as recorded in the bible.
That said, I don’t think suicide is a trivial matter, and if you have some path forward, no matter how precarious, I think you should take it. But God knows there is only so much someone can take.
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13. I believe you’re right and God know your limits and if you trust Him then what you face is what He know you can handle if you have faith. I believe this and is why I believe than my temptation to commit suicide is the work of evil and God knows I can face whatever it is that makes me fear. But yes, I appreciate your comment. Though in the case of soul he had gone astray, and God took the Holy Spirit from him and he eventually nailed his own damnation by killing himself.
I don’t usually follow posts but this is an interesting one, and I really like the Christian responses. I’m Ex-Christian like I said above but not because I turned “atheist” but because on a deeper level I don’t think I have what it takes to have true faith. I think a lot of atheists fall into this category but they don’t realize the flaw is in themselves so they hide behind denying God altogether.
I’m honest enough to admit my problem is that I can’t have faith in anyone to save me, whether it’s Jesus, my parents or a suicide hotline. So I’m not worthy of setting foot in a church where others are at least trying.
This thread is interesting because I like the viewpoints of believers who are not delusional and who understand that suicide is a real thing. At the same time you don’t blame God or deny the possibility of greater powers simply because your prayers aren’t answered.
Back to the question… one thing that distinguishes the teachings of Christ from the classic Old Testament material, as well as most other established religions in the world, is the strong message that Christ was a savior of the underdog. Prostitutes, criminals, lepers and general “scum” were accepted by Christ in a very loving and humble way (washing their feet for example).
I don’t think Jesus was supernatural. I don’t believe he could walk on water or turn water into wine, and I don’t think he can hear me, let alone save me. But if we are to learn anything from him, it would be that EVERYONE has a chance.
I still plan to kill myself, but until then I still get some faint strength from Christ just by that fact. Maybe it’ll help some of you guys also.
You know a person is wisest when he/she reasons for himself/herself. If you want to give up this blessed hope or sacred treasure you found I won’t tell you to stop, but if only you could realise what you are giving up to make yourself feel at place in the world. You plan to kill yourself, how many have done what you have done yet thinking they will go to a better place? In your heart you know it’s a mistake and that’s why you fear, that’s why we all fear l, myself included. But if you want to act like you haven’t seen or heard what you have then it’s your own business. The reason I asked for Christian responses is because I know worldly people can be very discouraging but I wish you would find it in yourself to try again at Christ and join me in this struggle. “For it is through much tribulation that we enter into the Kingdom of God” Acts 14:22
Thank you all