today

my father and my mother was arguing.
i stopped getting in the way due to my mom always being on his side.

today, she snapped.

i felt bad. she was screaming and it made sense. before that, he was towering over her on the couch, telling her how she was wrong about how he “didn’t” cheat on her(if you read my last post he did, he has a mistress to this day and talks to her while all three of us are at work{my brother, mom and i}), how shes a liar, and an idiot. an imbecile etc.

and she snapped, she said “FUCK YOU ALL” and “YOU NEVER LOVED ME” “YOU NEVER CARED” and i was happy? for my mom. she did it, she stood up to him. but; ive never seen her have a mental breakdown, and cry. i went into the kitchen and she told me to, “GET THE FUCK OUT“, and i did. i listened through my bedroom. and the next thing i know it; shes crying and telling him to stop and its not fine, while hes “hugging” her, and saying “stop it.”

Stop it????

STOP IT.

YOU TELL HER TO STOP CRYING NOT THAT “IM SORRY” OR “IM LITERAL HUMAN FILTH” .

i hate my father.

he then grabbed my hand and i told him to not touch me. HE THEN PROCEEDED TO SHIFT THE BLAME ON MY DOG. That i dont take him out(i work 12-6, so its hard for me on the weekdays), that i dont train him , etc. when i do. That its Lightning’s fault, when in reality its his fault for leaving us, for pretending to love my mom, for hurting her, FOR HER MENTAL BREAKDOWN/PANIC ATTACK.

later this night, they got over it, so easy. i knew it would happen, that they would just get over it, cus my father manipulates her so easily. im angry at both of them, but i hope i can have alone time with my mom to tell her and ask her if she can divorce my father, and stop getting hurt because of him.

i have already attempted before because of him, and i am too afraid my mom can go down the same route i went through.