Rocketman: Attention!
This special meeting of the newly formed SUICIDE PREVENTION SQUAD was called because ….. well ……. it’s special! I have added a new member to my team! empty Pluto ! Matter of fact he is the only member other than me anyways, I have been training now for 6 months and it’s time for us to start saving lives! Are you ready! empty Pluto !
empty Pluto 🙁 ………….here? i mean yes sir?
Rocketman: Sound off like you got a pair empty Pluto !
empty Pluto 🙁 ………….here? yes sir?
Rocketman: Hum? Needs a little work? empty Pluto !
I have been training mentally and physically, We can’t save lives if we act like a bunch OF BABIES CRYING FOR OUR MOMMIES!
Now empty Pluto I want you to run through that tire agility course fast as you can!
Rocketman: GO! GO! GO!
empty Pluto 🙁 I’m not going to make it! OOOPS 🙁
Rocketman: Try that rope climb! GO! GO! GO!
empty Pluto 🙁 …………… I CAN’T! I’M TO WEAK! I HAVE TO LET GO! AWWW! 🙁
Rocketman: BOY THAT MUST OF HURT!!
empty Pluto 🙁
Rocketman: Well empty Pluto maybe you shouldn’t go with me this time? How about you order sandwiches and onion rings and make me coffee before I go?
empty Pluto : 🙁 OK ugh!
( SO empty Pluto calls the local sandwich shop and places and order for delivery )
empty Pluto : Hello I would like to order sandwiches for the SUICIDE PREVENTION SQUAD we like 2 Beef sandwiches and Onion Rings.
sandwich shop: Sorry we have no Onion Rings.
empty Pluto : 🙁 OK AH we like 2 Tuna sandwiches and Onion Rings.
sandwich shop: Sorry we have no Onion Rings.
empty Pluto : 🙁 OK AH we like 2 Chicken sandwiches and Onion Rings.
sandwich shop: Mister let me ask you a question who put the app in appreciate?
empty Pluto : 🙁 God?
sandwich shop: That’s right God, who put the FUCK in Onion Rings?
empty Pluto : 🙁 There is no fuck in Onion Rings?
sandwich shop: That’s what I’ve been telling you! THERE’S NO FUCK’IN ONION RINGS!
empty Pluto : 🙁 Oh? Just sandwiches will be fine.
( Sandwiches arrive )
Rocketman: Where’s the Onion Rings?
empty Pluto : 🙁 They didn’t have any! I CAN’T GET ANYTHING RIGHT! I’m a failure! 🙁
Rocketman: Don’t worry someday you’ll get it Right! Now I got to go save lives! Hold down the fort.
empty Pluto : 🙁 I’m alone again , I can never do that agility course I’ll just clean up after him. What’s this box? Rockrtman’s Sentimental stuff from the old days? Wow! An old Walkman! And a tiger costume from a Halloween party perhaps? It’s kind of cool! I’ll try it on an look in the mirror MEOW! Not very convincing, I’ll push play on the old Walkman!
MUSIC:
You change your passion for glory. Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive, IT’S THE EYE OF THE TIGER………………!
empty Pluto : 🙂 EEEEERRRRROOOOWWWWW! I LIKE THAT! EYE OF THE TIGER………………! EEEERRRRROOOOWWWW!!!
( empty Pluto STARTS GETTING INSPIRATION FROM THE SONG AND STARTS WORKING OUT FEVERISHLY . Meanwhile Rocketman is looking for people to save) And pouring more vodka while writing this story Hick up!
Rocketman: LOOK! A GUY with a knife I’ll stop him! GIVE ME THAT!
GUY with a knife: What are you doing? I need that knife I’m a butcher how am I GOING TO MAKE A LIVING?
Rocketman: Looks like I jumped the gun SORRY! Look a Guy with a razor! i’ll stop him! GIVE ME THAT!
Guy with a razor: What are you doing I need that to cut these boxes open!
Rocketman: Looks like I jumped the gun AGAIN! SORRY! Look a Guy with a gun! I’ll stop him! GIVE ME THAT!
Guy with a gun: What are you doing I need that I’m security guard! HOW AM I GOING TO PROTECT ANYONE?
darkwillow: Another case of jumping the gun Rocketman?
Rocketman: It’s hard to find people that want to kill themselves! darkwillow what are you doing here?
darkwillow: What you thought you could leave me out of this story? 🙂
Rocketman: darkwillow I knew I could count on you! 🙂
darkwillow: let’s stop taking thing’s from people were pissing off everyone! Let’s go to the roof top of that tall building maybe will find some that want’s to jump!
( Rocketman and darkwillow start storming the building GO! GO! GO! )
darkwillow: Rocketman you can’t smoke in here! throw away that cigarette!
( Rocketman and darkwillow REACH THE TOP AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR AND IT LOCKS BEHIND THEM! JUST THEN THE FIRE ALARM GOES OFF! )
LOUD SPEAKER: EVERYONE OUT OF THE BUILDING THERE’S A FIRE! EVACUATE THE BUILDING!
darkwillow: The doors locked! were stuck! look a helicopter siting up here! i’ll check it! NO KEY! WE ARE DOOMED!
( The sounds of SIRENS! Fire Trucks! POLICE CAR’S AND THE CROWD IN THE STREETS GROW! The media show’s up. )
The media: Channel 7 news here, the South Tower Building is engulfed in flames! Everyone has been evacuated safely thank GOD! WAIT! THERE ARE PEOPLE ON TOP OF THE BUILDING OMG! THERE SCREAMING TO THE CROWD BELOW LISTEN! )
Rocketman and darkwillow HELP! HELP! I WANT MY MOMMY! WE WANT MY MOMMIES!
darkwillow: How ironic! We came up here to stop people from jumping off and now were going to do it because Rocket YOU started the fire!
Rocketman: Well you always begged me to kill you in all my stories now you got your wish.
darkwillow: Yeah but jumping or burning up isn’t my preferred method! Thanks a lot ROCKETMAN!
Rocketman: To late now! 🙂
( meanwhile back at SUICIDE PREVENTION SQUAD office empty Pluto happens to see the news )
empty Pluto : NO NO! This can’t be happening! It’s up to me! I GOT TO SAVE THEM!
( empty Pluto SPRINT’S OUT THE DOOR WEARING THE TIGER SUIT AND PLAYING THE MUSIC )
The media: This is horrible! Fire Captain how are we going to save them?
Fire Captain: I’m afraid they are doomed, they probably will jump when the flames lick their asses, We have no ladders tall enough to reach the top! The only Helicopter we have that can save them is on top of that building and I HAVE THE KEY RIGHT HERE!
( empty Pluto SPRINT’S PASS THE FIRE CAPTAIN AND GRABS THE KEY! )
empty Pluto : GIVE ME THAT! EEEEEERRRRROOOWWW!!
The media: This is incredible! A man in a tiger suit playing music EYE OF THE TIGER! just grabbed the key and is sprinting towards the building! I never seen anything like this in all my years of reporting!
MUSIC: You change your passion for glory. Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive, IT’S THE EYE OF THE TIGER………………!
empty Pluto : I CAN DO IT! EEEEEERRRRROOOWWW!!
The media: UNBELIEVABLE! HE SCALING THE BUILDING! THE CROWD IS GOING WILD! THEIR CHANTING GO! GO! GO! TIGER MAN!
empty Pluto : I CAN DO IT! EEEEEERRRRROOOWWW!! HALF WAY THERE! EEEEEERRRRROOOWWW!! EYE OF THE TIGER………………!
VENDOR: GET YOUR TIGER MAN TEE SHIRTS RIGHT HERE ONLY $15
The media: UNBELIEVABLE! VENDORS ALREADY ARE SELLING TIGER MAN TEE SHIRTS! TIGER MAN IS BECOMING KNOWN FAST AS A SUPER HERO!
THE CROWD: THE CROWD CHANTING GO! GO! GO! TIGER MAN!!
( JUST THEN THE BATTERIES TO THE WALKMAN GO DEAD! )
empty Pluto : Oh no! I LOST MY INSPIRATION! I FEEL WEAK! I CAN BARELY HANG ON! I CAN’T MAKE IT! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! 🙁
The media: OH NO! HE STOPPED! LOOKS LIKE HE’S BARELY HANGING ON! HE LOOKS LIKE HE MIGHT FALL TO HIS DEATH!
THE CROWD: OOOOOHHHH! NO!
VOICE IN THE CROWD: START SINGING EYE OF THE TIGER EVERYONE! LOUD!
You change your passion for glory. Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive, IT’S THE EYE OF THE TIGER………………!
empty Pluto : EEEEEERRRRROOOWWW!! I CAN DO IT! EEEEEERRRRROOOWWW!! EYE OF THE TIGER………………!
THE CROWD: YEA!!!!!!! YEA!!!!!!! EYE OF THE TIGER………………! WE LOVE YOU!! TIGER MAN!!! YEA!!!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!
Rocketman: OK darkwillow it won’t be long till the flames start to lick our asses! It’s time to Jump! READY!
( Rocketman and darkwillow MAKES THE SIGN OF THE CROSS JUST THEN! empty Pluto PULLS HIMSELF OVER THE TOP EEEEERRRROOOWW )
Rocketman and darkwillow: It’s empty Pluto I DON’T BELIEVE IT!
empty Pluto : DO YOU GUYS KNOW THE SONG EYE OF THE TIGER?
Rocketman: Well yeah it’s one of our favorites!
empty Pluto : WELL START SINGING LIKE YOU GOT A PAIR! BOTH OF YOU! AND I’LL GET US OUT OF HERE!
Rocketman and darkwillow: You change your passion for glory. Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive, IT’S THE EYE OF THE TIGER………………!
empty Pluto : I’LL START THIS THING UP, WOP WOP WOPWWWAAA WWWAAA GET IN BOTH OF YOU!
( THE HELICOPTER GETS OFF THE PAD SPINS IN CIRCLES AND POINTS STRAIT TO THE CROWD! )
HELICOPTER: WWWAAAWWWAAA WWWAAA WWWAAA! ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! EEEEERRRRROOOOWWW!
THE CROWD: YEA!!!!!!! YEA!!!!!!! EYE OF THE TIGER………………! GO! GO! GO! TIGER MAN!!!
empty Pluto : Hey Rocketman when we get back to SUICIDE PREVENTION SQUAD office could you order some sandwiches and make coffee I GOT TO GO SAVE LIVES! 🙂
You must fight just to keep them alive, IT’S THE EYE OF THE TIGER………………! EEEEERRRRRROOOOWWWWW!
The end
19 comments
Ah, I do enjoy wearing odd costumes while listening to 80s mixes, but I never knew that it could grant me superhuman abilities. I’ve gotta try this out later.
Yeah I’m laughing so hard I’m crying! 🙂 your a good sport! and you saved me! I’m such an ass!! 🙂
Duuude! I want to help save lives.
Hope Dream Love are you ready to kick ass and save lives? Story is almost done.
YES!!!!
Ok next story! 🙂 The SUICIDE PREVENTION SQUAD just gained another member! 🙂
Is it just me or does it seem ironic were on a suicide site meant for venting and whatnot talking about suicide prevention? Just asking lol
Let’s add more irony. I’m waiting to go in and see the therapist and on a suicide site. Yep. This moment is just full of irony lol.
How did your therapist deal go?
Meh. Honestly I’m not really liking it. And she doesn’t like me using weed. And wants me on meds. YAY ME!
Damm, Why not weed? Sounds a little to straight laced? I don’t know book smart or street smart?
“Oh it can make things worse” yep temporary relief from life that sounds horrible
Yep I don’t understand these people
I can only begin to imagine the amount of unpublished, crazy stories you still have in your repertoire.
Brand new! And I’m getting the shit kicked out of me!!!!
What did.. I just.. read 0.o
I just just skimming through it and then out of nowhere I saw myyyyy name haha
This is the best. Frikin weird. Haha but you make a lot of people smile rocketman!
And i am never going to step a foot into a skyscraper with you, sorry 😛
And where the heck was your jetpack in this dire moment of need?!
Hi, yeah a bit of surprise for you! 🙂 Suit is taken a break for a bit I’m refitting her she’l be back!
Thanks I’m glad you smiled! 🙂
Was I the only one picturing that noise as a race car noise? xD