All that I leave behind

I will miss my dog, my faithful and constant companion who only ever gave me cold wet nose kisses and unconditional love and comfort and never asked or expected anything in return except for belly rubs and playing fetch (and food and walks). I will miss music, and art, and creative energy, and the power of performance: the amazing and beautiful things people are capable of accomplishing when they can put their minds to it. I will miss food — anticipating it, preparing it, enjoying the tastes and delicious smells of it. I will miss films and television, from the artsy farts to the campy to the dark and satirical. I will miss hanging out at some dive bar in New York City, drinking and smoking and shooting the shit with my barfly peeps. I will miss dressing up for Halloween (my favorite holiday). I will miss drag queens. I will miss snarky gay boys. I will miss getting my nerd on with all my geeky friends over the finer points of fantasy and sci-fi. I will miss shaving my head and then growing it out to dye it crazy colors only to shave it all off again. I will miss the sound of ocean waves crashing on the beach. I will miss fishing with my dad as we silently contemplated the nature of existence. I will miss the squeaky crunch of a fresh snowfall. I will miss the sound of rain splattering against the window as I’m curled up in bed all cozy and safe and warm. I will miss the good kind of dreams — the ones that are weird and wacky and wonderfully non-sequitur. I will miss having a good belly laugh. I will miss having a cathartic “ugly cry”. I will miss dancing to disco and 80s and 90s music at the Pyramid Club. I will miss creating thematic iTunes playlists for my friends and family. I will miss the crazies shouting on the urban streets like prophets in a concrete wilderness. I will miss the beautiful, kind and gentle souls (angels?) who give their love, joy, time and attention freely and with no thought of reward or reciprocation. I will miss feeling the warm sun on my face and a cool breeze at my back. I will miss the moon in al its phases drifting across a clear starry sky in the silent night.