forever the bad person

I have never been anyone’s favorite. I suck at everything and everyone in my family, even my relatives, see me as a bad person. I’m always the one at fault, it’s my fault for reacting like this and like that, it’smy fault for being hurt, for being sad and for being hopeless. I always stand up for myself because no one, not even my friends, has ever tried to stand up for me, to defend me even in situations they witness where people do me wrong. I’ve been bullied because of my physical appearance, this society has shaped me into a person I didn’t want to be. I just wanted to be free from those eyes and mouths that hurt me, I just wanted to be free from those ugly words. I just wanted to be happy. I just want someone to see the good in me, I’m not as bad as they think I am. I’ve been trying to be what they want me to be, but no matter how much I treat them with kindness, everytime I try to defend myself from their abuse, I’m still the one at wrong. They call me selfish, prideful and such just because I save myself from them. I’ve been keeping this for quite a while and it suffocates me.