Living is Hard. Chapter 1.

it has to happen that sometimes you need to make a decision,

some of them might be reckless and out thinked and totally uncalculated.

but you get to a point after many reckless decisions that you tend to overthink every and each one.

you calculate every possibility to the bones.

you lose interest in most things and maybe, even tend to stop! just stop.

you be afraid of your inability of controlling the outcome of every move so you just stop moving.

you be afraid of getting into an surprising situation that requires you to move more,

or do more, or make more decisions and that’s a thing that you don’t want to happen.

(if you have this problem and looking for a solution I don’t have one. I’m just ranting!)

I’ve read some books about letting go and stopping overthinking,

but did anybody notice how much of a work is that!?

it needs work and focus and like a long time to see a change in yourself,

it needs growing! living is hard enough why do I need to also grow!

but to be in a fighters mindset I choose to say that yes I want to improve myself and work on this thing and stop overthinking just accept what I cannot change and know that I don’t have control over everything other than myself,

and that is the key my friend.

we have all the control we need on ourselves and we choose what to do with it!

but to be honest it’s really hard and upsetting to not get what you want or at least what you expected,

so maybe stop wanting and expecting! but that is also hard.

so I guess that is my number one reason for why living sucks, and living is really effing hard!