Sometimes it feels like I’m possessed, I have violent urges to kill myself and it’s like I’m fighting my mind to not act on it, like I’m having a fight body vs mind vs another area in my mind. Like I’m somehow restraining myself from acting on anything to the point my body vibrates as if it’s actually being restrained.
I’m so lost, I feel hopeless but I have so much to live for and I know I’m excited for things and to see everyone around me to grow up- so why do I want to die? Why is my body fighting for death so bloody much