I’d like to preface this by saying that sexual attraction and sexual behavior aren’t the same thing.
I’ve never been a sexual person. In fact, I identify as asexual (not an asexual reproducer LOL) and a few times in a row from different people I knew and even a Christian YouTube channel that I normally liked, I heard the claim that if you don’t have sexual attraction, you’re not human and that hurt deeply. I’d had the Holy Spirit for only a matter of days or weeks, and when I was stressed, it was almost impossible for me to hear God speak, no matter how closely and carefully I listened. So, I ended up mast******** over and over again for weeks, trying to force myself to feel like doing it and that never worked. It just felt like I fell in a body of water and kept drowning.
Weeks later, our church has a special guest and at the end, he mentioned the sins that the Spirit was telling him people were struggling with. He said, “I see someone that’s been struggling with uh, uh, sexual stuff, and you keep going back to it. I hear the Holy Spirit saying I’m here for you my child. Thank you Holy Spirit” and I knew in my spirit that it was me.
(Sniffle) so instead of making fun of me, or telling me I shouldn’t have doubted His love before I got to know Him, He was very nurturing and loving. That’s love! The last full month at the fast-food job I’ve had for 2 months now (I’m 22 with just a G.E.D. at the moment), I’ve had 28-38 hour workweeks, and it was only around 15-20 hours when I first started. God’s love is universal, yet so personal and that coupled with a reverence for who He is and what He stands for (like how He’s both all knowing, and all powerful instead of being tough and strong or smart and weak like some TV stereotype, abd He’s the greatest Psychologist ever and only uses it for good), strengthens you more than any romantic relationship and helps you do better almost naturally.
Last Saturday night/Sunday morning I once again thought of those false claims about a lack of sexual attraction making you not human, and (I love that you can hear the love in His voice when He expresses Himself to you;more loving than the sweetest mother), He said, “You’re my baby boy”. At that moment, I knew I’d never fall for those lies about not being human again. It doesn’t bother me by default anyway and I still have aesthetic attraction, like with paintings or clothes. Just no sexual turn one and I find it makes life easier for me. Have a blessed day everyone, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth!
4 comments
I’m glad you are able to lean on your faith. Publicly I’m an agnostic/secular humanist. It is the simplest expression of my complex belief system. Internally; there’s definitely something out there, no two ways about it. The closest I’ve found is through Christianity, but that doesn’t really tell the full story does it?
I’ve been messed up sexually for years, mine has more to do with stress. It is why I don’t have children yet. I get to work with kids though, and I am confident that God is working through me. I long for things, and I just have to give them to God. I know I can trust him.
On the reverse; I absolutely understand atheists, in a way I wish I understood Christians. Feeling salty because others appear to know how stuff works but they don’t know any more than you? That’s so my life.
Which leaves me without many peers. Longing for a God that has kept me at a distance for half of my life. Not at home with believers, or with atheists. The only ones I really get along with are transitory agnostics like myself. People that encourage my faith without demeaning others.
*shrug* You started talking spiritual stuff, that’s where my mind is. Today has been one of the most Earth shatteringly horrible days my spiritual life has ever taken. I trust God, but I have no idea what comes next. For so long I’ve been giving him everything, and asking for one thing…. to the point I don’t care if he ever answers. My act of faith is to give. His act is on him. I hurt, and that puts me in the company of Christ, Moses, Joseph and many more righteous human beings. God will choose what becomes of me. It’s not something I have much input on these days.
I wonder how in the world that special guest knew somebody at a church felt guilty for ‘uh, uh, sexual stuff’?
It must have been God.
I agree with your title. I read the book once or twice a week.
I’m really glad that God has helped you become free from the sin of lust, and most of all because He has spoken to your heart ^^,
Perhaps you may like the following verse?:
““My son, do not take lightly the discipline of the Lord,
and do not lose heart when He rebukes you.
6For the Lord disciplines the one He loves,
and He chastises every son He receives.”b
7Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you do not experience discipline like everyone else, then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Furthermore, we have all had earthly fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them. Should we not much more submit to the Father of our spirits and live?”
Hebrews 12:5-9