just 1 am thoughts again. its always in a cycle, i get extremely suicidal, im in this weird state where im just numb and i feel okay i guess and then i spiral. im back in my suicidal part of the cycle, except one important thing: my brother killed himself. thats what the police say anyways, im not sure, i dont know. he came to me alot to vent, i shut him out, our relationship wasnt always the best, so right now the only thought that has been repeating is that i killed my brother. i drove him to suicide. i dont know where to go from here. im not sure. i’ll probably chicken out again, not my first attempt and probably wont be my last.
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3 comments
Regardless of your relationship with your brother, what he did was his choice and his alone. I understand you must feel a lot of guilt from it, but it’s truly not your fault. You didn’t make him do what he did, even if you two had a bad relationship.
still here? : (
It wasn’t your fault. I know it’s probably hard to believe but it’s true. He was dealing with things that felt unbearable but you didn’t add on to his pain. Even if you had been with him as much as humanely possible he still would have dealt with the same pain. He didn’t deserve to go through everything he went through but don’t blame yourself.