I am occasionally convinced that no one in this world will ever love me. I don’t know if it’s true. I am experiencing one of these occasions currently.
I have people that will tell me they love me, if I ask. This causes me immense guilt. I know there are folks who don’t have this grace.
Nevertheless, I don’t believe any affirmations. It is because I feel they hardly know me. I am an anxious person. I am an introverted person. I don’t like new situations. I don’t like new people. Even the few people I’ve known for years feel like strangers to me. I don’t tell them about myself, and I rarely want to know much about them. This is my own fault. I understand that.
It is also extremely isolating. I want to love someone. I want to be loved. But I am cagey. I am unreliable. I will get scared, and I will run. If I cannot run, I will lash out. I think I might hurt you. I’m scared that I’m going to hurt you. I’m scared that I won’t apologize when I do.
I am afraid that I won’t be loved. I am afraid that I will be loved.
I am afraid.
I’m scared.
I’m terrified.
I don’t know how to change.
I’m worried I don’t want to.

I often think about what I’ll do if I don’t.