this tightening in my chest won’t go away. that anxiety eating away at my back won’t go away. my paranoia that my friends don’t really care about me won’t go away. im so sick of it. im so sick of myself. im so sick of constantly needing and asking validation, but i cant help it bc if i dont get it i just get worse and worse. im so sick of people misunderstanding what im feeling or what i want. im so sick of that fact i cant properly communicate what i want to people. im so sick of people thinking its okay to leave me alone. dont leave me alone. please stop leaving me alone. or if youre gonna leave me alone, then leave me alone alone for good. i dont feel lonely when im by myself late at night in my room curled up on the floor. i feel sad, maybe angry, but i find peace in that emptiness. no, i feel the most lonely when im by myself in a crowd of people. why do you guys always go on ahead when i go to the bathroom. but whenever anyone else goes to the bathroom we always wait for them. just stop being friends with me. stop telling me you love me. stop telling me your my best friends.
you’re killing me.
im so lonely in this world.
and that’s killing me too.
1 comment
i sense there is a ton of pain behind these words. pain from long ago and some today too.