I’m 13. I don’t know why the hell I was born. I’m just tired. not sleepy tired, just tired of being alive, on this planet where there is always fighting, where people are constantly hurt, where people can’t just get along, where we all just live pointless lives, I’m pretty sure majority of our species will end up in hell if that stuff even does exist, if there is a god I hate him because he has given everything to those who don’t deserve it, and those of us who try so hard, those of us who have hurt so much, we are given nothing, I don’t care when people say I’m too young to understand, this world is a hell on its own, the monsters are us, I don’t care when people tell me it’ll all come together or make sense one day, I don’t need people to tell me that I don’t understand because I don’t care, I just feel so done with everything, I’m not saying I’m brave or smart, I’m a coward and an idiot, but the reality of the world is that it’s not fair, people have said that for centuries. I’m too scared to kill myself though so here I am in this crap world. thanks for using your valuable time reading this rant.
2 comments
i feel the exact same way, life is just claustrophobic pretty much all the time and it feels like we can do nothing to change it because we probably can’t. the way i deal with it is trying to make people happy in small ways, makes me feel like i impact their life in some way and therefore the world haha
Well that’s one of the reasons why I realized there’s no God, evil people winning, good people losing, the world being unfair, etc.
I’m sorry you had a bad life. When I was your age, I think I had a similar realization of my existence as I was born into a lower class, not middle. I mean our needs were met thankfully but we always struggled and we didn’t get some of the nice things that kids who are better off, do like fun vacations, living in nice neighborhoods, etc.
You’re here not because of any gods but because your parents had sex. Some parents are smart people and have kids only if they can give them a better life. But most parents are morons and they have sex first and worry about the consequences later….so if they’re poor and stupid they raise kids in poverty, sadly.
Like my niece and nephew were born into some wealth, they’ll never understand the suffering my siblings and I went through, they’re pretty spoiled and live in a beautiful house.
Around your age I did consider suicide also-very seriously, but I didn’t know of ways to do it, but I also cared about my family as I do today, so that’s why I stuck around.
I focused on studying and trying to get a good income so that my life would be much better. I did a bunch of odd jobs and paid my dues. Unfortunately I didn’t end up where I hoped to be, but I learned of different ways of making money and I feel eventually I’ll end up doing well, hopefully within a few years.
So that’s what you have to decide for yourself. The world isn’t necessarily a bad place. With the right knowledge, skills, connections, you can have a much better life. Plus when you have a good income, you have more freedom to do things like traveling and so forth.
Maybe you got a “bad deal” in life (like many of us) but it’s not forever, you can do things to change and improve it and live the life you wish you had gotten. I knew then as I do now if things got really bad, if I lost all my family, friends, had no income, lost my health, etc…and I felt I had nothing to live for, then definitely I would end it.