It never ends

I hate myself for not killing myself
I am dead inside and i want my exterior to match
I hate everything about myself and i barely know who i am
I don’t want to know
I want to cut myself and dismember my body
I daydream of getting murdered
I hate myself so much that i cry about it
I pray to a god that i dont believe in to end my life
I am desperate for a way out; it hurts so much to live
I think its clear to everyone around me
I look like a walking rotting carcass
I am begging and pleading for anyone to kill me as they please