The only way I want to leave this world is by suicide. Not soon, I still have things I want to do. I have life goals and a plan with my longterm boyfriend. Death takes up so much time in my mind. Any inconvenience is the end of the world or might as well be. I don’t want to die of old age, feeling my body get old and slowly give out, its not the way I want to go. I have spent my whole life surviving, I want to be dead before things get worse with no hope to be better. In a way it’s the kindest thing I can do for myself. I will die on my own terms.