I remember making this account maybe 7 years ago in my twenties. i feel so old and I am still just as lonely as I was back then.
I wish I had then let go and died when I was on the edge. i wish it so bad. I really need to start seriously working on a plan out. It is just so hard because I don’t really want death, but I can’t live like this either.
why did i end up like this? why did nobody want me? i was so hopeful about the future as a child, i still remember. how stupid.
Why am I even writing this. it is so useless, like writing on a toilet wall in a motel that you will never visit again. nobody cares.
5 comments
You’re still young. The guy that founded Walmart wasn’t successful until his 60s or 70s. I know plenty of 30-50 year olds who still go to social events and meet new people. Find a hobby like yoga classes or manga meetup groups and look up events in cities or groups near you and I’m sure you can find people with similar interests who are seeking companionship the same way you are. In terms of a partner if that’s what you meant, sign up for dating apps and put yourself out there. Trust me, there are people in the same predicament who think there’s no one out there for them either but you just have to take the risk on going to bars, parades, stopping people on the street even and don’t be shy because people are willing to meet others as long as you introduce yourself. You don’t have anything to lose.
On a side note, having people around you brings nothing but unneccesary drama and burden. I’m lonely as well but I’ve just realized people are overrated. Find peace in your solitude and don’t compare your life to others.
Lastly, most adults I’ve found have most of their acquaintances from work. Try reaching out to coworkers to watch a movie or get drinks or assuming you don’t have the right people at your job since youre posting this, try finding a new one where you work with a decent sized staff like a part-time waiter job if you want friends that bad.
Always here to talk also and I’m just like you so don’t think you’re alone.
Thx for the reply but sorry, it’s over. I actually know why I ended up like this: I am incredibly ugly.
I’m not even desperate anymore. There is nothing I can do and thus ending it is the only rational choice. That is all that there is to it. Now it is only a matter of getting it done – a mere technicality.
I will do it soon, perhaps even this weekend, but certainly during this year. Will get drunk and cut my wrists in the shower or jump to the river at night.
I guess we write about it because it makes the reasons feel real? Like the problems aren’t just in your mind. That’s why I do it, anyway.
I hope you find a solution. Good luck <3
I am glad your still here, I tried to take my life in my mid twenties. I actually created my account also about 7yrs ago also during the same period. Wasn’t meant to be and I survived. I definitely was forever changed and was ok for a bit, but eventually almost tried again. I’ve come to realize that I do still want to die, but I will not take my own life at this point. i have left it up to the Universe to decide when its my time. Life continues to get complicated and my lack of will to survive has actually been a relief. I live everyday waiting to Die and don’t stress or fear anything in this World.
i don’t regret trying to kill myself, but I am glad I survived…..I have become a Stronger Person with time and some of the burdens of life have become easier to deal with.
if this forum is a wall of a Toilet of a NoWhere Motel, than its exactly where I want to be. You are correct most people don’t care or are just unable to understand what its like to broken. I care and anyone whose here in the forum also care. We also can relate and share the burdens of life.
Glad you found your way here..
This comment is lovely just came here to say tht