Every day I think about ways to stop this overwhelming pain and sadness. I can’t be bothered anymore. I feel that I can’t leave because I have my son to look after and he has already suffered tremendous loss. I can’t focus. I’m going to lose my job if I don’t return. I find no joy in anything. I only want to lie around and sleep or watch TV. I am a worthless nothing piece of crap. The love of my life blindsided me and left – no contact. Just cheated and left after eight years. I’ve struggled with my mental health for years and I can’t do it anymore.
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So sorry about being left. That was one of the things that set me on this path years ago, though we’d been together a far shorter time than you. I can only imagine.
As for your worth though, every human has the same intrinsic worth; it is only our relationships to others that augment or diminish our sense of this. I say this recalling a time when I felt much more “of worth”, when I had more and more thriving social relationships, sense of purpose, etc., whereas now it is not like that at all. But it’s the circumstances that have changed far more than me. I just feel like it’s me because, well, I am me.
Finding a new partner will help trust me just keep your head up and join a dating app