In the next few hours/days, this will be the first time I ever have to “say goodbye” to someone in the hospital. Yet I can’t help but feel like the most despicable person for not only having my last words to her be something she even acknowledged I never said to her when she was well but wishing I had more time if only to ease my own selfish regrets… It’s things like these that make me feel like I’m a wretched creature that is better off dead and never remembered.
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2 comments
Your pain is real, I wish there was a way out because this happened to me too. I can’t even talk about it.
Even if you suppress or deny your mistakes, they come back to haunt you. Sorry man I was trying to come up with something positive to say but this is the only thing that came out of my keyboard
Well than, since the doctors didn’t stop my grandmother’s life support treatment until 9 pm, I won’t be able to tell her goodbye… On one hand, I’m relieved but on the other hand, I will never have said “I love you” to her when she was alive… I don’t deserve to live while she dies…