Feeling hopeless

I think I have to end it soon. I don’t want to live at all, but I also don’t really want to die. I’m 26 without a degree, working in retail which was okay, but since a lot of people quit, the new environment is so toxic I feel extremely nauseous every time I have to go there. So I basically told everyone I will quit in December but I have no other plans, I’m not educated enough to get a better job, and I have anxiety and meltdowns whenever there’s a change in my life, I have no idea what my problem is, never got diagnosed with anything at all. I wish I could go back in time, just to change something, anything really, cause living in this misery is horrible. I think I have to end it in next week, I don’t want to leave my family, I love them, and doing this to them makes me cry so much, but I feel like I’ve got no choice, they will be fine without me. I just hope I will succeed, because I wouldn’t be able to face them if I failed.
I don’t even know what to write in my suicide note, but i got them books about how to deal with a loved ones suicide, I hope that will help them.