I have no clue what I’ve been doing

Okay, uh, where to begin. This isn’t going to be organized as far as I’m aware, not much organization but hopefully by keeping that in mind I’ll organize things more this time:

I was supposed to immediately start applying for jobs back in late November or so. Er, not really, in that such a thing did not happen even though at the end of the day the same things were barring me from taking the same courses of action and I had to jump through the hoops anyways to begin with, whatever it was I kind of wasted time there ultimately. Primarily in terms of not having to do “unskilled labor” with one’s time and instead wanting to put preexisting traits to use, I generally just applied to or tried my hands at a bunch of stuff that didn’t work out.

• There was a bunch of stuff online that you could do without really any training since of course one was short and still is short on time (should they accept that), the transcription/remote microtasking (Amazon MTurk/Appen kind of stuff)/virtual assistant/”data annotation” (last one is usually the only one that gives close to minimum wage but is obviously fad esque, you aren’t going to be living off that for arguably any period of time if I’m being honest) kind of things which, ultimately, yeah, none of that works for said purposes nowadays. I don’t get how I’d pull that off without a heck ton of unnecessary risk here.
• I was thinking about repair technician roles in terms of electronics/devices and/or data entry/clerk ones since those usually only have computer usage as prerequisites depending on where I check online, but for the former even though I could kind of stretch things to say that, yes, I do have the necessary experience for that (no microsoldering or viewing of schematics for individual chips on a motherboard yet, I have a long way to go even if I can generally replace parts with ease since that IS supposed to be easy, at least hopefully), I haven’t heard back when putting things onto a resume. Likely because I’m new to that resume thing in general (unfortunately) but I still went for a skill based one of course due to the lack of related work experience. Probably would have worked if I was good enough but I’m not. And then, for the data entry/clerk ones, kind of the same stuff except that I can definitely do the role, but most places are the ones to only really respond with no reply email addresses when you fill out everything directly on their website. Yeah, I wouldn’t probably be waiting for any of that.

What I ended up with was generally fast food related things due to such roles being much more plentiful and slightly more generous than retail from what I’ve seen with the current state of my local job market or whatever you’d call it. But obviously, you know, maybe I should have settled upon that a bit sooner instead of having to halfheartedly consider anything that I did. Maybe canvasser roles would have also been worth considering as for me they offer the same or a bit more base pay as all fast food places but with the addition of potential bonuses on top, I still have a few listings in terms of them saved, but there are generally some concerns with it that I might as well list out, as well:

• What counts as good canvassing or advertising apparently? Don’t know for certain.
• They expect less turnover than fast food places, and I’d only really use this kind of job to get out of where I’m currently situated (living by finances and not simply where you’d have to be is much better I’d assume).
• I’m not sure if I’m the safest acting as a public facing figure like that, even for only a few months to half a year at most. Even cashier jobs warrant less attention, sorta, depends on how you view it.
• A lot of these roles generally sound like they are going to put me out there with no supervision or way of telling whether or not I was actually working in the first place. Yeah, big thing to assume, I know, but it generally seems far too lax to be dependable. Unless I’m wrong, and I could be.
• I still don’t know if I’d be so certain after all of the above are resolved, but generally it’s a $2 difference in base pay for the roles at least, and then bonuses on top that I wouldn’t have access to otherwise, with the same requirements of experience… yeah, still not sure.

But either way I wasted a month and a half not narrowing down fast food listings and then sending in a “resume” (forced formal thing at this point, no experience, yadda yadda I don’t see the point and this is therefore another thing I got stuck on primarily because I had to write one made out of “nothing”, regardless it hopefully works?) for each one, and obviously in between starting to seriously reply and coming in for the first paid day, there’s a week or two in terms of buffer time? So I’ve already missed out on quite a bunch at this point, arguably two months. Not so great.

And now, all of a sudden, I get the idea that maybe, over time, renting a room may not be the best for my situation, but instead (based off only one day and a half of incredibly lackluster searching) living out of a van? Or not really if it turns out to not save more and do more in comparison to a room rental in the long run, but regardless, more generally living out of a vehicle when I was previously vehemently against getting even a driver’s license in the first place thinking it’d be a waste of a month or two? Thinking that, if I am able to get to the point, the money would hypothetically be enough to get one outright (used, and we are dealing with quite the dangerous market there, both in terms of dealerships and individual sellers, I have never in my life seen something like what goes on when used cars are usually sold and that probably makes sense since I haven’t been around for the longest, but even as someone who frequents a lot of used things for proper savings, the amount of checkboxes you have to tick off are much more) and have it be suitable for such uses before moving with it? I mean it really made no sense at first but when I started thinking about it in terms of “One vehicle is nice to have just in case, even with public transport and electric bikes” and that this would be my only one that I could potentially fall back on even if I do rent a room, but besides that aiming for the proper amount of space it would be the room, it slowly started becoming a bit more appealing with the passing moments…

Yeah, especially now I may be out of my senses. Who knows, but either way I would assume that planning would do the trick. Maybe.

Besides that I’d also have to sell a bunch of stuff that I wouldn’t take with me, so that’s fun…? I’ve gained a newfound appreciation for laptops instead of anything stationary to say the least. I think the same may go for my living spaces, in that at least for this case, I can’t take my PC with me, and it’s also of rather lackluster value so I wouldn’t take it along anyways (even though I was the idiot who thought of spending over a thousand for it’s specifications when laptops nowadays in the used market a year after that purchase can go for five times less with similar enough performance for my means, yeah it’s a bit long to explain but I’ve screwed up royally there), but even still it feels far more at risk than something you could potentially leave with especially quickly. I guess the latter trait of the value being bad was ultimately the nail in the coffin regardless, but still, even though the laptops have lesser performance and/or cooling in this case (generally) and the minivans/sprinters/RVs/whatever floats your boat (in that a literal boat could apparently be good for this sort of thing as well, but that is especially impractical for me) would have less space and a more convoluted way of getting together utilities in comparison to a room rental, they are both more robust in general for me. Somehow.

I mean, if there’s anything that I would believe, I guess it would be that being locked down to any one place is going to possibly kick your bucket way faster than going all over, to pretty much anywhere, not that I’m going places for the sake of it since I definitely don’t see the point of that. Anything that stands up tall and is known locally to a sort of “monument” kind of status is going to receive attention that, generally is undesirable. Of course, it’s much more comfortable to sit here or there, but for sitting in a chair we tend to assume that there’s no other seats far too often. Next thing you know, everything is suddenly at the whims of another, unless you don’t give them that power in the first place and consider that locations do not matter except for what they are and what they bring. No notions of what they are “supposed to be” influencing the decision making, because obviously betting on hopes or fairness or expectations, whatever any of that may be, is not changing whatever’s happening in front of you. Town is still burning down even if the odds are that it shouldn’t be, if that’s happening now then it’s happening now. You fail to accept that and you keep thinking that closing and opening your eyes will do the trick, all of a sudden you are aflame as well because said fire “snuck up on you” even when it was, still, right in front of you.

There are much more matters to discuss probably that consist of my current situation, potentially, but either way I think things are at least secured in terms of the time I have available. Still around half a year, give or take.

Alright, but whatever any of the past 1,700 words apparently consist of, I’m guessing the goal is to mainly not dig myself a pit or cease being by improperly planning, the events ultimately do not take that long to put together but what does take sort of long I would assume is the vetting for each step of the process. Here’s hoping to something functional in which I don’t waste my time reciting what I already know and instead get on with what I don’t…