when i step off that cliff i want to be fearless, i don’t want to be drunk. i can’t be scared of the pitch blackness that will follow, i hope that somehow i will dream forever and this is what heaven is. poison is another option, i’m not confident in identifying this plant though.
i have a customer facing job, i see more way more people than i’m comfortable with. i can clearly see how far gone i am, i do not get your jokes and idioms and references to the human life. i’m nothing and i never want to be anyone. i have achieved that but in doing so i spend every day alone and unstimulated. i would rather be cutting myself, this is comparatively less damaging. every interaction makes me feel like i’m fighting to be respected and known, why does it even matter? why do my eyes scare you?
genuinely what makes life worth living for an insecure sociopath? i’m so ashamed of breathing air and walking this earth.
4 comments
That’s an extremely noble and brave desire you had up top….. some kind of beautiful way out at least the step out without fear or inhibition suppression. Poison, eh, I’m less than thrilled with the options I’ve looked at. Plus, my main thing is that I want my meat to fertilize the soil, poison might louse that up.
You asked some good questions too; why are you here, one must wonder?
What keeps you from that cliff? Cliffs must exist somewhere within reasonable travel distance.
What is the point? It sounds like you work retail, which isn’t doing it for you. So what DO you want to do? How can we make that happen?
I mean, I’ve been at the point that I couldn’t work my soul sucking job another day or I’d have to end it…. so if that’s you, I understand that.
It isn’t an easy thing to solve, but I did solve it in the end.
I think I did, new lifestyle we’ll have to reassess in six months.
in order for you to fertilize the soil, you don’t want to be found? that sounds tricky. i don’t live that far from the cliff, i need to go to the bottom though to judge the distance. i haven’t been since last year because i’m worried it’ll be busy now, it’s a lovely coast though. maybe it’s a silly excuse, but my parents are very wary of where i go, if i go somewhere far and remote they might think i’m attempting again. i’ve considered poison only because it’s quite accessible in nature, i could pick it and rest in the woods.
i work in a cafe and it’s fine until i have to deal with people, although i suspect now my contract won’t be extended because they’ve finally found a manager and i won’t get those hours anymore. probably for the best. every job i’ve had feels great in the beginning, until i ruin the dynamic that the team had before me. if i could do anything, i’d make stupid art and music and be left alone and not work for anyone, which is childish but that’s my version of freedom. i like to stay busy and have a comfortable routine, but people’s personalities can ruin that which i wish didn’t bother me so much. i shouldnt have to be so terrified of everyday life and yet i’m so sensitive. sorry if your qs were rhetorical.
Do you wanna talk? No pressure.
yes, not sure where to start