What both of you said rings true with me also. I feel like a gutless coward because I don’t just take care of it because in reality there are things that would probably work I suppose but they feel pretty harsh and living has been harsh enough so I’m always thinking to myself is it to much to ask for my exit to be not as bad and messy as life has always been? Depression, Self-Hate, it’s exhausting to constantly have negative thoughts of yourself running through your mind. People that feel good about themselves I have wondered how they accomplish that??? I have tried to change my mindset for years in fact but the problem with trying to change is that I know myself and I have never been able to appreciate all the things that came together to make me who I am. It’s awful to be reduced to the point that suicide is your best option, I look back now over my adult life and wonder what the hell I was thinking? I guess I’ve always been conflicted, cynical yet sometimes hopeful, I always thought at some point over the years things would turn around, it could happen, things could magically turn positive and healthy and my life would allow me to live happily ever after………….. I don’t feel one bit sorry for myself and sympathy is a waste of time but I’ve come to feel that some people just are not meant to live a happy healthy productive life like everyone else seems to be able to accomplish.
3 comments
I feel the same as you;I don’t want this life.This depression is killing me
I should have the guts to kill myself
What both of you said rings true with me also. I feel like a gutless coward because I don’t just take care of it because in reality there are things that would probably work I suppose but they feel pretty harsh and living has been harsh enough so I’m always thinking to myself is it to much to ask for my exit to be not as bad and messy as life has always been? Depression, Self-Hate, it’s exhausting to constantly have negative thoughts of yourself running through your mind. People that feel good about themselves I have wondered how they accomplish that??? I have tried to change my mindset for years in fact but the problem with trying to change is that I know myself and I have never been able to appreciate all the things that came together to make me who I am. It’s awful to be reduced to the point that suicide is your best option, I look back now over my adult life and wonder what the hell I was thinking? I guess I’ve always been conflicted, cynical yet sometimes hopeful, I always thought at some point over the years things would turn around, it could happen, things could magically turn positive and healthy and my life would allow me to live happily ever after………….. I don’t feel one bit sorry for myself and sympathy is a waste of time but I’ve come to feel that some people just are not meant to live a happy healthy productive life like everyone else seems to be able to accomplish.
Please feel free to get in touch – nwcw@hotmail.co.uk